@GaryTylone.com

Because Its Valentine's Day 2012

2012-02-13T20:30:00.000-11:00

So I was gonna do a random bullet post about some thoughts I've been having. However, I've had a couple glasses of wine and I'm watching a romantic comedy " The Holiday" and I'm feeling good. So instead, I'll post these provocative pics and maybe I'll tell y'all something.

I met a guy a while back and I like him. I like his hands and the way he walks.We've been out formally twice and informally once. This past Friday was the informal one. We danced. He held onto my waist. We laughed. He grabbed my butt. We looked at each other. He held my hand. Am I smitten? Maybe. Was I just drunk? Possibly. Was he just drunk? Perhaps. Do I want to see him again? Absofuckinglutely.

Have a Happy Valentine's Day!!

Ms. Whitney

2012-02-13T19:52:00.001-11:00

I don't know anyone born around 1980 that didn't have to stand with peers somewhere to sing " Greatest Love of All" I'm talking about for kindergarten graduation, sixth grade graduation or a random school assembly. I believe the children are our future...is significant...is nostalgic...is stitched into our lives like our names on our baby blankets. ( you didn't have your name stitched into your baby blanket? Its fine. Neither did I.)

I was with friends waiting for a table to enjoy weekend libations and abundant laughter when I checked my Twitter timeline and saw a lonely #RIPWhitney. My first thought was " Here they go again with this shit." Then I looked atop the bar and saw the Breaking News on ESPN announce it. Then I received a text from Mommy. So I thought , Fuck.what.Shit.no.Huh.but.Wait.no.HoldOn.no.NO. NO.NO.

Memories rushed to my head of me with cascading blankets tied around my waist performing " Queen of the Night" as a preTwink while imaginary wind machines blew and I turned in slow motion...singing " My Name is not Susan" while my mother's CASSETTE played on repeat...being moved in a way I couldn't explain when I first heard the song " All The Man That I Need"

If you're amongst my generation, you remember her and Bobby's wedding photos in Jet magazine. You remember her joyful pregnant glow in the ' I'm Every Woman" video. You remember her " I Wanna Dance with Somebody" video and maybe had never seen a black woman with so much hair. We watched her in Bodyguard. We watched her in Waiting to Exhale. We admired her. We laughed with her. We idolized her. We rooted for her. She was our AuntCousin.

We LOVED her.

There is no one in our community that hasn't been influenced or impacted by the life and the work of this woman.
Ms. Whitney Elizabeth Houston.

Because Blue Ivy Carter has SLAYED All of You

2012-01-11T18:43:00.000-11:00

I wasn't prepared for 2011, I came into the year blindfolded, ill-equipped, and unfocused. I was thinking about the wrong things like finding someone whose face I could sit on. ( Because well, the things you do to bring in the New Year....y'all know where I'm going with that...) I did find that, but I also found all types of shenanigan that I wasn't looking for or ready to battle. I made it though right? iDid.
I also deepened and tightened some great friendships I've made in Atlanta these last few years. I honestly couldn't have weathered 2011 without them.
I believe that I am ready for 2012. My mind is clear. Good things will happen.
I pray every night. ( Surprised?) Usually, just while laid back in bed or propped on a pillow. The other night, I actually got on my knees next to the bed. It was interesting.
Am I getting real emo?
I don't do resolutions, but I'm gonna try to stop eating fast food. These reports about whats in the food is just scary. Maybe it'll help me lose a few pounds too. Spring is coming. Or a sexy shower scene.
I think I may also be active in preparing to have a partner this year. That means I may stop saying I'm not interested in a relationship. We'll see, cuz y'all just love to act up.
Speaking of dating: Patti Stanger's spare and a pair concept ( a person should be dating three people in rotation) may get a lil messy around small gay Atlanta. Nervous.
Is " you can shower over here if you want." an invitation for sex?
People that are always going make me nervous. Why can't you be still? Will you explode or something?

Pleasuring myself while standing up in the shower is gonna give me a heart attack one day. Just remember I told y'all that.
Beyonce had a baby girl. Her and JayZ named her Blue Ivy Carter. People have an issue with it. I don't understand that. Should they have named her Jessica? She's a music industry princess and we all know how JayZ loves his word play. I luv it.
I don't understand this thing with "tops" or anyone for that matter and this desire for partners with no body hair. Yes manscape, trim your bushes, that's fine. However, complete hairless(ness)...meh... Do you wanna feel like you're with a pre-teen? Y'all watch too much porn.
Buy me some sneakers. Js please.
I believe I have mutant powers. I'll tell you later though.
No, I'm serious.
Rack City bitch Rack Rack City bitch.
You know, I think there needs to be some type of nationwide press conference or just convention for the kids. Like a MegaFest or whatever that was that TDJakes used to do. Why? Because y'all are doing some crazy shit behind the scenes and we need to figure out why.
Derrick Rose though....add him to the list with Joe Budden.

Because Its the End of the Year

2011-12-26T19:23:00.000-11:00

I try to postpone anything sexual with someone I like or even kinda like for some weeks because I often have change of heart after orgasm.
Is that a male thing or some ole repressed homo internalized self loathing shit?
But how tempting it is to lay next to him. Intimacy and affection creates such an erection.
While watching #RHOA did you notice that most of the women now have a gay with them? Like they're a pet or a handbag? Lemme find out Gays are the new Birkin.
Anyways I don't like that shit. I smell mockery and lack of dignity.
I don't knock anyone's hustle, but make sure your talent or whatever you're offering speaks for you and heralds you. Alot of us would love to be in Uptown Magazine's " All About Town" sections, but I personally would rather never be there than be listed as " and friend". #IJS
I kind of had an aha moment the other day regarding me and what I think about being in a relationship. I'm learning that the things you're willing to do for your mate, you do because you want to do them, not because you feel obligated or such. Also, doing these things doesn't take away from your strength or the independent person you've become. I'm learning children. #workinprogress
I'd like one whorish nasty sleazy night with @JoeBudden. Is that too much? And I mean just nasty too. *shivers #judgeme
I wanna be a natural redhead. With freckles...no?
Speaking of hair, my head was full of gorgeous curls at one point in my youth inspired by Justin Timberlake. I think we may have a bond because of it.
While brushing my teeth the other day, I gagged. That hasn't happened in years. Signs that I'm out of practice? Ha!!!
I had a dream that I was having some type of secret affair with Janet Jackson. We were on a couch getting ready to fuck ( it was real aggressive, clothes not completely off, hands under her bra...HOT!!) but couldn't find condoms. Then some people came in and I sat behind a desk naked from the waist down trying to be cordial and hide my erection. I don't know where any of it came from. I hadn't even been drinking.
But does that mean I'm bicurious? Or does Janet not count because she's a gay icon?
I notice that when I'm seeing someone, I start suggesting facial hygiene products to them. I know if they did that to me I'd be highly annoyed. I'll stop. I'm sorry.
I've noticed how many gay couples I know of who are married or engaged is growing quite impressively. Ten years ago I never in million years thought I would see that. Love always wins.
I believe the first idea I saw of gay marriage was Pedro and Sean(?) commitment ceremony on The Real World. Remember that? Back before the show became a ratings circus of hotbodies fighting and fucking in hot tubs....
Hmmmm...I got emotional for a second there.
I wasn't able to go home to Connecticut for Christmas, so I went to my father's house in Hiram, GA. Actually had an ok time. Played the new electronic Monopoly. Debit cards now instead of Monoply cash. #TheGameDoneChanged
2012 marks ten years since 2002. I was all of 21 most of that year, very young and unknown to me, very impressionable. I hadn't experienced much and most of what I'd known, I'd read in books or picked up on television somewhere. I wouldn't say I was naive because I was sharp and quick in senses. I often think of that time as eye opening and as a period of discovery outside the world that I was familiar. Most of this new world discovery happening in NYC. There was a guy I was dating there, that helped guide me. Perhaps he acknowledged something he saw in me, or maybe he had no idea as he was finding his own way. Whatever the case, he was a significant part of that time and I want to thank him. I would never have become the person I am now if it wasn't for what I'd experienced that year. #ThankYou
Whew...I need a moment. Bye.

Because I've Been Writing This For Weeks

2011-12-04T07:34:00.003-11:00

Joe Jonas... #WhoKnew. Is he still on that "I'm a virgin" thing?

New theory on relationships and perhaps why things don't work out more often than they should: If relationships were days of the week, alot of US only want the weekend part of it. We want payday/fresh haircut/happy hour Friday. The shopping/lunching/going out with friends Saturday. The relaxed/reflecting/brunching/home cooked/in bed with a good movie /napping/comforting Sunday. We don't want the hairline growing out Wednesday. The stressful work piled on Tuesday. The bill collector calling on Monday. We want all of the good of the relationship, but none of the...not so good. Lets work on that.

I want y'all to stop calling Gabourey Sidibe, Precious. Thank you Please.

While reading old blogs, I noticed how my writing has dulled up quite a bit. I'm sorry, its old age and life, I promise.

It's so much easier to get out thoughts this. Maybe thats why they teach the skill of brainstorming and freewriting in English classes.

I try not to date " popular"boys because I'm jealous and possessive and I don't like to share. Funny thing is that it's possible that I can be perceived as one of these "popular" types pending on the event and who you talk to. Thats not fair huh? #gofigure

I said all of this because there was someone new I'd begun to lust after or crush...notice the past tense. He's so cute though.

Three things fathers should teach their sons: 1. How to handshake. 2. How to tie a necktie. 3. How to do a 3/4 cuff on a good button down. Well...maybe not #3 but something.

I wonder who the first dude was that decided to wear a pair of Timbs, not for utility, but for fashion and styling. Could have been the fly street pharmacist but something tells me it was the trendsetter giving him head when he took a break from being on the block to eat his chickenbox from around the corner.

#IJS

Where is my Audi A5 Lord?

Speaking of, I may have an opportunity soon that will change my life possibly for the very better. It involves taking a risk, jumping out on faith, and placing myself completly outside my comfort zone. Yeah, like when I moved to Atlanta.

Moving to Atlanta cannot be my greatest Leap of Faith. Its been almost seven years.

It annoys me to no end to hear people constantly whine about being bored. It reminds me of a statement " If you're bored, then you're a boring person." What grown adult doesn't have the capacity to keep themselves entertained? Or is "bored" really lack of a better word?

What's that teeth gritting feeling that burns up from your neck and into your psyched that feels like your brain is squeezing itself? Is that angst?

Damn baby, pussy can't be your only hussle.

Whoever told people named James that calling themselves Semaj was cute? Jimmy wasn't enough?

Years ago, I was riding the bus. It slowed to a stop and on a wall outside was an ad for FUBU ( that should tell you how long ago this was) A woman speaking toher friend says " Fubu...those black brothers that make those clothes. Thats all their names together...FUBU." What I learned from this was that people will spread misinformation like it is the honest truth. STOP IT.

I wonder how many people actually do some of the nasty things that's done in porn. Like cumming on the face. Or cumming inside someone and watching them push it back out. Or cumming in someone's mouth and then kisses them swapping it back and forth. Its freaky nasty and good to watch, but in real life...really? #I'mNotJudgingThough

I've never seen the movie " Bucket List". Do you have one? I've started writing mine. #10 - Paint some of the things I see in my dreams.

Eddie Long has announced that he's stepping down. #PrayerWorks

I lost a family member recently. We were very close as children, but as growing up happens, so does growing away and growing apart. It really saddens me that I didn't get to know him as an adult. Remember to really cherish your loved ones and never take time for granted.

I just wanna shout out @TrentTheArtist , @BlackSexMaster, and @TheXDExperience for providing thought provoking and provocative reading material during my commutes.

People will try to tell you who they are until they muliple orgasm, but once they SHOW you is when you need to believe them.

Pop Life: Dinner with Trent Jackson

2011-11-15T15:53:00.004-11:00

The mirrors on the elevator doors of the Twelve Hotel were amazing for taking head to foot photographs with your iPhone. However, it was moving way too fast for me to get any good poses in. Or maybe I was a little flustered. I had the cheap bottle of champagne tucked in my arm and as I stepped off the elevator, passing a mannered service worker, I came face to face with this man I came to meet. It wasn't a date off Grindr or Adam4Adam or BGC or Jack'd or whatever the hell else the kids use these days to meet each other. This was a friend. A friend that I'd never met. To say that this meeting had been a long time coming was an understatement. Me meeting Trent Jackson was an event many moons passed overdue. About six years worth.

For those that don't know,when I began writing this blog, I had no idea what to expect. I was just a twenty something ultimately looking for an escape and an outlet to say somethings that I'd formerly only told my journal. I didn't expect anyone to read it but maybe some friends or perhaps the people I'd "met" on Myspace ( Who?!). I remember someone telling me that my life wasn't interesting enough to blog. So ofcourse, I started writing in it anyhow. I remember leaving someone a comment and to my surprise I began getting readers. One of these people was Trent Jackson. He doesn't know this ( or maybe he does) but him being one of the first to embrace me was really a catalyst to my life in the "Blogosphere" . He reached out to me and actually interviewed me for his blog HERE. He probably doesn't know this either but within our repore that began there was also some admiration. Here was a young man about my age who'd had a book published by himself. A young man that didn't have a college degree to back him up or any person in a position of power pushing his project. He did it with just him. I admired that. In fact, I thought it was outstanding.

As he opened the door in all his full figured glory, it was like two friends that hadn't seen each other in months. Like Savannah going to see Bernadine in " Waiting to Exhale" ( aside from the burning of the cheating husband's shit) Nothing like two people that had never met. I stepped in, sat down while he continued cooking and we "caught up". We sipped champagne, we chatted, we laughed, we gossiped, we laughed and we laughed some more. New faces and faces I'd already known came through and we ate and talked some more. Trent cooks up one ole JAMMbalaya bitch !!

Trent eventually read scenes from his 3rd novel "Pop Life" while we gave him feedback. I truly believe this book is going to be therapeutic for a large segment of the LGBT community and as we all learned for some of the hetero community as well. We all had an enlightening evening of discussion peppered with laughter and seasoned by cocktails. I had a very good time to say the least. I always believe there is a time and place for everything and that was definitely the perfect place and perfect time for me to meet The Infamous Trent Jackson. I look forward to hanging out with him again.

Because It's Time 4 One

2011-10-02T16:29:00.004-11:00

I've been looking for a reason to use that photo for something. It has nothing to do with nothin though.

The temperature is dropping, which means it's cuffing season. Survival of the fittest. Watch yourself though.

Speaking of: " Why does dating always start off great, then turn into ' suck a bag of dicks'" - Justin Timberlake " Friends with Benefits"

" Shut up Katherine Heigl!! You stupid liar!!" - Mila Kunis " Friends with Benefits"

I like that movie. I want Justin Timberlake something hungrily.

I went home to CT last weekend for my little cousin's wedding. She's about the youngest at 22y/o and the only one of us third generation of the family to be married. She looked gorgeous and she loves her now husband to death as he does her. I pray the best for them.

I had a moment of sadness as I often do at most weddings. Is it possible that I'll ever be able to share such a beautiful moment of love and adoration with my family as my cousin did? Will I be embraced and united with a blessed bond of GOD and blessing from my family as she was? I may never have that.

But maybe I will.

I went on a date Friday night. I liked his hands, his walk, the way he sat...

I feel like I'm playing the game Survivor at that job. I gotta get outta there before its too late, I doubt the last person standing receives a million dollars.

What makes you feel good? Like really good?

I just finished reading The VIPs by Scott Poulson-Bryant and I felt like I was leaving the theater after seeing the feel good movie of the season. I'm a bit dramatic, but it was a very good book. I love a good storyteller. #recommendedreading Thanks to @VG113

This Jill Scott station on Pandora is taking me in.

There was a lil lizard in my closet today perched upon an old dark blue suede H&M belt that had fallen. WTF?

Remember that scene in FlashDance when she removed her bra without taking off her sweatshirt. I think that was one of my first lessons in sexuality as a child. The art of slutty seduction resonated with me and I've always wanted to be that type of seducer. I wonder if I am.

I have a confession: I sometimes pretend to be oblivious and aloof to people's advances at me because I'd like to dispell(sp) this idea that my dating choices are plentiful. However, I do notice. Shhhhh don't tell anybody.

I think I should stop telling people I'm shy. No one believes me anymore.

The name of the show is " Perception" and we're all a part of the cast. Do you know your lines?

GotDamn.That.Shit.

2011-08-28T12:46:00.003-11:00

In some of my opinion alot of the issues we face in the lgbt community begin and end with sex. Perhaps for us men, because our sex often sticks straight out ( or curves up, to the left...), it serves as a compass leading us sometimes in the wrong direction. I digress. This post isn't about that. Instead, I have a couple concerns and conflicts dealing within our sexual lives. If you're new to this blog, you wouldnt know this but I haven't had anal sex since 2006. I've sucked, licked, ate, stroked, and maybe fingered. Whatever, nevermind all that. In short...just because I eat you out, doesn't mean I wanna fuck you. Just because I suck your dick, doesn't mean I wanna get fucked.

Sometimes you just wanna dress like a slut.

I'm full of shit. I told y'all before.

My twitter bio says depending on who you ask I'm a whore. That's real, depending on who you ask.

Beyonce' showed her ass in this 4 album. I may be a #closet stan.

But...that 1+1 song I really feel should've been given to a guy.

The fact that some #LGBT activists actually were pressuring for Bert and Ernie to have a same sex marriage just proves why the community becomes a joke unto itself. Bert and Ernie are puppets. However, it would be cute if they did the NOH8 Campaign. If Miss Piggy can do NYC Fashion Week...

I have been on edge for the last week or so. Something is about to happen.

Maybe its because Beyonce is pregnant.

Is drunk sex actually that good or do you just think it was good because you were drunk? Who said it was good? I certainly didn't...

Do people get off while sexting? I didn't know that was purpose. Wait, now that I think about it...nevermind.

You ever pretend to dislike someone just because you'd rather not be in association with the obvious connection that swirls around the both of you? Nevertheless, deep down you know if somethings were in place you'd probably be together? No? Me either.

" You ever been to a desert? " - Jill Scott.

I wonder how many of you caught that.

I believe I'm getting ready to rubric's cube my life. #shift

The fact that these issues with Eddie Long and his accusers keep coming back to the media could possibly mean that you can't just throw money at something and expect it to go away. Where is the resolution?

The hispanic woman upstairs loves her vaccuum cleaner.

My little cousin is getting married next month. What is that gonna be like?

People are crazy. They will try to pull you in to their confusion. DONT GO.

the Best scandal 4

2011-08-09T06:51:00.005-11:00

" All of a sudden, I heard ' Daddyyyy?' and the door knob turning. I was just
over it and dumbfounded. I mean...what the fuck?"
" Awww, you didn't know he had a daughter? "
" I did...I did..." I remarked. We were getting fitted for our suits as I told Aubrey my latest adventure with the same sex. What some would call their dating life, I just call my sexlife. The wedding was in just a few weeks and we were getting our tuxes fitted and tailored. In the meantime, I'd begun to tell Aubrey how I'd arrived to this guy's house way passed a child's bedtime. How he told me his daughter was sound asleep. We'd begun with the default vodka and cranberry as the television buzzed with some random movie. I'd ended up on his lap tasting the mixture of mouthwash and alcohol in his mouth. As I started to dig in his pants, he stopped and led me to the bedroom. We'd gotten straight to fucking in a see saw position with him pulling me on and off his hardness when the little girl decided to wake up and ruin my life.
" So wait. Did she end up catching y'all ?"
" No. That man threw me off of him so fast. Luckily, I guess, she didn't come all the
way in. He threw on some shorts and went to handle her."
" So, did y'all finish?"
" No. I was over it by then. I got my shit and left. Told him to catch me when
he gets a babysitter."
" Awww... hehe... You live one ole life. You should write a book. " Aubrey laughed.
" Yea, whatever." I grinned.
We walked out of the rooms to check ourselves out in the mirror. We were wearing bone colored tuxes, they were going to be coupled with variations of plum colored ties. As the best man I would wear a polka dotted tie. Aubrey's would be gingham and Derek's would be striped. Derek's best man would have a madras printed tie, or paisley. I don't know how many variations on a plum colored tie they were, but this was Aubrey's idea. The " groom" and his best man were gonna wear black tuxes instead of our bone hued. Again Aubrey's vision.
"So has he called?"
"He has, said something about a babysitter and just coming through to my place. We'll see."
"I'm sure you will."
"Are you judging?"
"I'm not. I just can't wait for you to settle with someone , so we can do couple things. That's why it'll be great for you to meet Sidney, Derek's best man. "
"I guess."

The truth was, I'd already met Sidney some weeks ago when Derek brought him along for one of our sessions. He was a pecan colored man with a gym made body. He thought he was sexy, I thought he was corny. Nevertheless, they'd taken turns drilling me with my legs spread and hanging over each arm of a leather chair in my living room. It was a standard threesome meet and greet if you ask me. Nothing crazy. Sidney was...good. However, I don't need to deal with Derek's jealousy. The irony of that is exhausting.

Aubrey:
He came in like he'd just been to the gym. Dropped his bag quickly and ran to the shower. I know that he's just come from fucking Simeon, I'm not crazy or stupid. Well, I may be a little crazy for allowing it to happen. Simeon is my best friend and I love him dearly. He loves me enough to handle the sexual responsibilities of my relationship. He loves me so much that he keeps it from
me to spare my feelings. I love that Simeon. I love him enough to hope that he uses protection with Derek. I love him as much as he loves me to not tell him why he should.

Lust Chronicles: The Familiar Type

2011-07-06T05:27:00.004-11:00

I saw one today. He was like many others I'd had interest in and some that I'd dated. See, I often tell people that I don't have a type (and how could you with so many different variations and possibilities around this city), but I actually think I do. Him. 6' and above, slim with a lean and broad shouldered build like a runner or swimmer. Either bald or thick haired regal raven colored. He'd be the color of peanut butter, golden apple pie crust, Lance vanilla sandwich cookie, with suggested freckling. He'd have wide eyes that others would say hinted at Asian but was probably more so generations removed from Native American. Add to that full lips and perhaps a pronounced nose. This one had on just a white tshirt, grey olive straight legged jeans, and a dark colored version of Chucks. I'd seen him before at the barber shop and the reaction was the same then as it was now. Damn. He walked and stopped some feet away on the train platform. His body slanted forward as he stood still like a Boxer or a Greyhound or whatever dog it is that races. The expression on his face looked inquisitive and I wanted to be the answer. Yes. I'd already seen our love affair in my head. Him with his face buried in my neck while my hand traveled up his shirt. Fun and necessary showers before bed. Nudging him in the middle of the night when his snoring got too loud. Passion-filled and soul penetrating penetration while high off his musk. I anticipated him like summer seasons; I knew what was to come. I glanced at him from afar as he seemed to glance at me. What would I say if he approached me? I'd say yes. I'd say I usually don't like phone conversation but please call me. I'd say what took you so long. And as the train came rumbling to a halt in front of us, I prepared to say goodbye. I sat down two cars behind him, peering out the window at each stop. I wanted a last look, just to see his legs stride and his hands find something to do with themselves. This became unfruitful, maybe he'd gotten off where I couldn't see. Nope. At my stop, I stepped off the train right into his face. God answers prayers.

Dating Sux: I'm Full of Shit

2011-06-23T06:01:00.008-11:00

The last relationship I was in ended in spring 2004. Wait that's not true, I had a brief something in 2007 or so... ( Not to take away from it, but it was brief. I do still care about him . We still sext from time to time.) Anyways since then, whenever someone would ask why I was single, ( and don't u HATE the question? Ive said it before and I'll say it again, " Why are you single? = " Whats wrong with you. I guess if people think you're attractive then you should be apart of some power couple somewhere. Also, I don't understand that question. Umm. Do you want me NOT to be single? See... ) Ok, I usually answer that question with: " I haven't found the right one " or " I'm just trying to chill and work on me." or " I'd rather just date and see where things go." Yea... that's all bullshit. The real reason is that I'm full of shit. I admit it. I'm always honest with you right? I have to be. This is thing though, YOU are full of shit too. Hell, if I'm gonna throw myself under the bus, I'm bringing yall's asses with me. I can't be full of shit alone.

Ok I'll explain... You're attractive right? Your body is aiight, you workout enough or whatever? You've got a job ( or in this economy, an unemployment check #noshade times are hard!!)? You're fun? All of that and some more great amazing qualities right? Sure. Now, you've met somebody cute. You've been on a couple dates. Laid up in the bed/on the couch wit em. Maybe you've performed some oral gratification on them. Maybe more. Things maybe going somewhere and then one day your feelings change. What happened? Hmmmm. You realize the person isn't tall enough, or short enough, their body is shaped weird, your schedules conflict, they spend too much time with their family/friends, they live too far, they're going through some life issues, they smoke too much, they're not versatile enough , they're not into your "scene" and you're not gonna change yourself, they don't try hard enough to spend time with you, they don't wanna have long talks on the phone, their life plan doesn't match with yours, they don't like dogs and you wanna get one, they're interested in moving so why pursue anything, they have a strange laugh, their right eyebrow goes up higher than the left, their pinky toe doesn't have a toenail, blah blah blah you get the point?

BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT.

It's all bullshit. You and I both know that if you really wanted to be with that person wouldn't ANY of that matter. We will make up any random reason to end something with someone before it really gets started. Why? Well, we could be scared. Maybe we don't think we're good enough. Maybe we're still dealing with internal issues about our sexuality. Our trust issues may have reached the surface and face it, we've all been cheated on or cheated so its bound to come up. Whatever the real reason, we'll hold that back to speak the random foolery listed above. We need to stop this. Listen, I began this post about me first and I know I'm not gonna just stop my own bullshit to just up and join a Will/Jada, Barack/Michelle, Jay/Beyonce type union. However, I must acknowledge my own bullshit and try to work on it. Alot of us would like to deem ourselves spontaneous risk takers. There's nothing more risky than digging out of our own bullshit to embrace the unknown of what a relationship could be.

Did that make ANY sense at all? No? ok...

#Trade and Some Other Things

2011-05-07T10:38:00.005-11:00

There have been many males in my life that seemed to be enamored with me or my life and were for the most part hetero. They flirt, they're chivalrous, they sit next to you with erections for no apparent reason at all. You could obviously have some if you wanted, throw in a blunt or two, and some likka. This is what I know and have known as #trade. I think translation has gone lost throughout the years of what this is. I could be wrong.

BTW I have never had any sexual activity with such men. I have however, had with men who were "DL". I do believe there's a difference.

The other morning, I performed a sequence of oral acts on some young company that had visited. He came. I didn't. And that's fine.

I did however, enjoy the rawness of my lips afterward.

I've become completely bored with my job. The last time this happened, I packed up and moved to ATL. Where next?

Trent Jackson has returned with his podcast and I'm so glad about that. Check it Out

Tattoos used to be something that set some apart from others and create a look of edge and/or an attitude of #flyy. Now that it's become trendy, nevermind I forgot my point. Ha.

I went to see Big Madea's Family at The House or whatever the fuck its called. I don't think I've ever been to a movie I wanted to walk out of. If it wasn't for the " Byraaaaaaaaaaannnn aaaaaaaaaaannnnn aaaaaaannnn aaaaaa aaaaaaaaaa", I think I just might have. Oh, and just to see where the story would go....the stage play was much better. Just the same ole jokes.

The thing about Tyler Perry is that we want to support him. ( Well I'll speak for myself). I want him to be better and make great movies because he has that power to. I think that may also be why actors work with him. Also, I think he knows his audience that went to the stage plays will come out to his movies. Like preaching to the choir. I guess...

Osama bin Laden has been killed ( or we've been told). What exactly does this mean? No one has said so yet. Imma need to borrow your panic room.

Tomorrow is Mother's Day. I love my mommy. The things I put her through weren't as much as some kids, but were some pulling behaviors I'm sure. I'd like to give her some proud moments in her lifetime.

Lupe Fiasco is truth.

I'm back on Grindr. Don't judge me, its somethin to do.

Everything can't be profound or poignant.

Haiku: Celebrated like the 4th. Fraud masked in glamor sheathed and fucked. Lies piled Olympus high.

Oprah has 13 shows left. Pray for me.

Many times I've told myself to shut up and just watch. I think there will soon come a time that I tell myself to speak up...LOUDLY.

Because It's Good Friday

2011-04-22T11:03:00.001-11:00

I dont know what I would do without music.

Justin Timberlake...

I was a shy child, I got that from my mother. If I wasn't, I'm sure I'd be in the entertain business somehow or trying to be atleast. One of the things I wouldve changed as a teenager.

Something really interesting happened to me during my teenage years, I'd like to share without it sounding boastful.

I think I was a prostitute in my formal life or a porn actress...coked out, died from an overdose.
Don't ask me a bunch of questions.

If " jumping the broom " was an act for black slaves and not traditionally African, are those who adapt that in their ceremony paying homage or..?

I want to like somebody, but it doesn't fit in my life right now. Is that ok?

There was someone I was trying to see for sex only but that somehow backfired on me. I didn't like him that much. I enjoyed what his lips and mouth could do. I guess they didn't know the arrangement. Or possibly the joke was on me. He has a nice piece too.

My father told me something the other day that I've heard before but this time I guess I actually listened. He told me in so many words to follow my own course. I thought I'd always done this and I have, but my thinking often strays.

The beginning of what I wrote in my last post was something loosely based on actual events in my life. In the real version I had on khakis and boots. And silver herringbone bracelets. I don't know why I just told y'all that.

Remember when you were in your early twenties...21. Being ready for everything fresh and new. Around every corner was excitement...fearless.

I need to get myself out of this Mexicoma.

It's Easter weekend, eat some jelly beans. I like the purple ones and the yellow ones.

Lanvin II

2011-04-14T18:06:00.005-11:00

Read the first one HERE.

The apartment was...nice. It was clearly a man's apartment. All electronics and minimal necessity. A couch; black leather. Black mini blinds and a glass coffee table. A huge television and stereo system. Cable, DVD, playstation game console and a spider web of cords traveling to and from each contraption. The place smelled like sweat and incense smoke with a touch of Febreze. Like it wanted to appear fresh and clean but sickingly couldn't. His back was against the slightly worn cushions of sticky black leather while his legs hung over the older man's shoulders. This man told him how he was "about his paper" and didn't mind taking care of pretty little shorties who deserved it. So they met at a discreet corner and he traveled with him to this apartment all the while studying his face trying to find anything that he could deem attractive. However, yellowed eyes,blotchy skin, and blunt burned lips was all that was offered. He smiled anyhow and went along with small talk. He made the man laugh and posed seductively on the couch. Watched him roll his blunt and inhaled some of the pungent marijuana smoke the man blew in his face. He let him stick his tongue in his mouth and then his bottom. " You so fuckin cute Yo " the guy would say. He would giggle. His jeans were piled on the floor and his underwear dangled off his right Nike. He held his Polo style shirt above his navel while the man licked and sucked his inner thighs."You got a big dick to be sixteen man." He only moaned in response to the man. Across the wall was a photograph of a little girl with a bouquet of braids and beads pulled on top of her head. You see what your daddy is doing little girl? He thought. "Can I put some lotion on you?" the man asked. " mmhhmm" he replied. The man spread the fruit smelling lotion across his booty while his legs still hung over his back. He prepared himself for the probing of the man's fingers...

Lanvin stood looking across the city watching his memories float across the sky. It was early morning and the faintness of a breeze off the Hudson River drifted across his bare chest. This rooftop had been the immediate selling point of his loft. Two bedrooms , a master suite, 3 baths, black bamboo hardwood floors, and a chef's kitchen decorated in silly glamour made no difference to the rooftop over looking the city's skyline and open to the heavens. The sky was reflective almost mirrorlike and when it was clear like this particular morning, Lanvin couldn't resist the stories of recollection it told him. He took a deep breath and ran his fingers inside the waistline of his white retro style shorts. Looking across the buildings in his view, his eyes settled on a billboard of himself for the cover of Beau Magazine. He noticed this version was scaled down a bit and showed the photo he'd taken with his hair slicked back wearing a silver long sleeved t that laced down the left side. The other version was larger and appeared in Times Square. It showcased another angle of the photo that focused on the laced arm unfastening the two buckles on the side of some white bikinis he wore. He liked that one much better he thought, turning to enter back into his home.

That was D De Lanvin and his hit single "Boxin." This is Ryan Seacrest and guesss who's on the phone? No other than the dude himself, Lanvin what's up brother ?

Seacrest !!! Seacrest de Babe !! What's the down...Owww!

Not much, you're sounding mighty cheerful. Could it be your nominations for three moon men in this year's MTV Video Music Awards?

It could be Mr. Ryan. Or, it could be the three orgasms I had just before I called you...grrrrrr...

Ha Ha That would do it bro! Should I ask who the lucky fella is? Could it be the rumored Los Matthews of the highly rated series " Conjure"?

I'm not sure boobie bear, I didn't ask his name. Is Ellen there? Tell her to shake her tits if she loves me...

You are a wild dude, my friend.

You wanna find out how wild Daddy?

This is Ellen hun, Ryan is beet red right now.

Awwwww blushy Ry Ry. Ellen!!! kiss kiss!!! I gotta go...

Ok thank you...

Lanvin didn't let the sentence finish before hanging up. "Bro. Brother? My man ? Chile please." he said tossing the phone to an assistant. The assistant chuckled as he walked away heading up the stairs to his bedroom. He entered the room and removed the cashmere lounge pants he wore as cut offs. Stepping onto the king size bed, he walked up to the head of it. " Ryan Seacrest says hi 'bro' " he spoke to his guest before squatting down onto his tongue.

Because I don't Know What to Call this One

2011-03-28T16:23:00.006-11:00

There was a program on Oprah's OWN Network awhile ago called " Our America : Pray the gay away?" with Lisa Ling. It was a fairly good special, balanced sides of the question and all. Two comments I have about the questions are :1. People seem to continuously equate homosexuality with sex. It's not that simple. Just because you're not having sex with the same sex that you desire, doesn't mean you're no longer gay. 2. It's interesting to me how people love to tell another person and GOD what He made and/or how He made it.

Another one of my long supporting blog friends (heyyyy @v_com) has started blogging again. Check it out...

That Marsha Ambrosious cd. Get it. Right now. I said go...

Do people really think that Oprah cares that Wendy Williams got an interview with Aretha Franklin?

It's Spring, do you feel it?

After years of no BGC or A4A accounts, I have found Grindr and joined. Let's see how long this lasts..#nothingschanged

I asked this question on FB. Would you google your potential new bf? Did you google him?

Speaking of boyfriends, I'm tired of sexting yours. And yours too.

My mother recently mentioned something about my father that told me everything that's wrong with me and the men that I'm attracted to. Kinda...

It gets really exhausting continuing to pretend everythings ok, when they're really just about to topple over and spill all over you.

Apparently, there's a movie called New Years Eve featuring actors like Ludacris, Robert Deniro, Halle Berry, Sarah Jessica Parker, Lea Michelle, Etc... Could possibly be something like Valentine's Day, which was great right?

Oprah premiered the first part of her OWN Master Class...I think I had a come to Jesus moment.

I have a crush. He rides Marta the route from my home area to the connecting Lindbergh Station. He has a beard and locs. He is cute. And full of that thang that people call swagger but need another word for because I don't like that one.

I am a Chris Brown supporter despite all of the scrutiny that happens and continues to happen to him. However, he needs an older man to possibly choke him up against a wall and tell him to calm his ass down. Tantrums are for children.

BTW did you see his ding a ling? #hestillneedabeatin

Logo has a show called " 1 Girl 5 Gays". Great Show.

I think I may be going to Sizzle this year. I need to lose 40lbs...

the Best scandal 3

2011-03-04T06:57:00.005-11:00

* Read the first two: HERE and HERE *

" Do u think I'm crazy? "
" Crazy for what?" I scanned the room making sure there was nuthin inexplainably Derek's in view. I'd hurried him and Simeon into my bedroom and now I was a bit annoyed and lube wet as I sat in my unbuttoned jeans on the couch. "Do you think I'm crazy for marrying this man? Aubrey said with a raised eyebrow peering at the opened gold wrapper on the floor.

" No, why would you be crazy? You love him right? " I spoke as I grabbed the wrapper into my hand.
"I really do, it's just...maybe I'm just thinking too much."
" Are you sure? What's the problem? And where is he while you're over here? "
" He had some kind of emergency at the office. Yea, I think I'm just tripping because it all seems too good to be true. I'm sorry, I interrupted your...um company. A gold wrapper huh? For you or him? Is it Simeon? " Aubrey smirked.
"Let me walk you to this door, I giggled, " Are you sure you're ok? I don't want to feel like I'm rushing you out. If there's a problem, I'm with you to handle it."
" Yea, I'm just gonna go down to his office to sit and keep him company. Maybe get me some company while I'm at it."
" Ok... Well, call me tomorrow. I had fun at you alls party...hehe."
" mmhhmm and you still are." he snickered walking out the door . I closed and locked the door rolling my eyes. This is getting too dangerous, I thought to myself approaching my bedroom door. I opened the door to see Derek shoving his blood filled erection down Simeon's throat while he sat at the edge of the bed. That damn Derek. "Yea...um..your fiancé is on his way to your office to keep you company...so..." his dick made a wet sound as it plopped out of Simeon's mouth onto his thigh. He turned and looked at me with a " What?" He began to look for his clothes piled on a chair in the corner. As he began putting his clothes on, I replaced his spot in front of Simeon. He held my semi hardness in his hand and licked the precum off the tip. " You can't be fucking serious " Derek seethed . I smirked as I watched him hurry out of the room. I then heard him speak into his phone " Hey babe..." and the front door close. I turned my attention back to the man sitting in front of me and grabbed his head watching myself slide down his throat.

L O V E I typed into the popular search engine. Google had helped me find answers to everything from local Pizza Hut phone numbers to whether or not dogs can eat pineapples. So, in my writers block , I thought it could help me with this article dealing with Love and its details. I was completely blank on the subject. Possibly voluntarily and most likely conveniently I had no worthy thoughts on it. It's not that I didn't believe in love, well...maybe I don't . Atleast, maybe I don't believe in it for me. And if you don't believe in something , then you're less likely to be aware of it right? I do see love in other people. I see the love Aubrey has for Derek, but that situation is all fucked up with a great heaping sloppy portion of me mixed in with it. I pretended often that what I was doing with Derek wasn't real. So because of that, I didn't deal with how rotten it tasted. I almost never thought about it and certainly wasn't going to now. I stared at the laptop's screen and reviewed the results Google had searched for me. None of it looked useful to me and I would clearly need to figure something else out. I cleared the search box and wrote in another word then laughed at myself . S E X . Now this was a subject I didn't need any help in , however am always open to new ideas. I scanned the results but nothing peaked my interest. My phone vibrated with a text message that read WYD . I replied nuthin, Then received another message that read Get on Skype. I opened the Skype program and started my webcam then waited for him to appear. He soon appeared drying off with a towel. I said , " Hey" to no response. " Helloooo..." I said again to no response. He just continued to wipe off his naked skin with the towel. So I watched him dry off his shaved body. I then watched him grab a bottle of lotion and begin to slowly lotion his skin. He paid deliberate attention to his thick sex organ stroking it to semi hardness. I watched him lotion his chest, torso thighs, legs, ankles and feet. Lastly, he turned around and rubbed lotion on his toned backside. He spread his cheeks and smoothed the lotion up and around each one. My erection dripped a wet spot in my trunks while I ran my fingers across it. He finished moisturizing the cream into his bright brown skin while I watched. Then he picked up some black hip cut briefs and slid them up his lean legs onto his waist. He adjusted himself in the underwear and turned from side to side with his hands cupping his crotch. Then, he stooped lower bringing his face into view, grinned, and stopped his webcam feed. The screen went black. My eyes stretched into my hairline before I laughed out loud. Still laughing, I stood up and pulled off my trunks. Stroking myself I said aloud " You teasing bastard, you done started somethin..." I definitely would finish it.

Session

2011-02-14T18:18:00.003-11:00

Well enough

In our acquaintance

Flirts and slick words

Provocative image exchange

Leading and tease

Baited situation

Under invitation

Simple and slight intoxication

Ease

Touchy Feely

A rumble before a roar

I know Valentine's Day is over...fine.

* click on the image and get TheDate...a mixxxtape.

Versus

2011-02-09T18:15:00.003-11:00

This is a picture I put in an album on my FB profile with the caption " This is what my alter ego looks like." The scowl...the ciggarette...the mystique...the seduction...the edge. Just a bad ass. The alter ego idea has become a bit cliche in recent years thanks to Sasha Fierce and TI vs TIP and whoever else that decided they were another person. However, there is something about the notion that is refreshing to a person's psyche. I recently watched the movie Black Swan and in my opinion, the movie touched on some of what is expressed with an alter ego. My interpretation was that this character was so focused on being perfect that she locked the wilder side of her away. Once asked to free this side, she at first didn't know how, but once lil pieces of that darker side were revealed, she couldn't balance the two and it eventually destroyed her. Now call me crazy, but again that was my interpretation. I feel like we all are constantly going through an internal battle between "good" and "evil". I mean...raise your hand if you own a copy of Rihanna's Good Girl Gone Bad album. Exactly. Anyhow, Black Swan was a movie that helped me realize some of these points within myself. The reason possibly why I enjoy mostly villainous characters, including vampires. Why I feel as though Scar from the Lion King was a sexy mutha______..cartoon. Hmmmmm. Yeah... I feel like most of us can relate to the desire of wanting to be the Black Swan. Y'all know I love things that sprout wings anyway.

Dating Sux: Who Told You?

2011-01-03T18:50:00.008-11:00

Soooooooo...quite often in conversations about dating comes the familiar acknowledgement that if everyone is claiming to be good dating material, why are quite a few of us still very much single. There are numerous reasons if you ask me. Some of them simple. Many of them, we (yes we) won't admit to ourselves. (More on those other reasons later...maybe) The reason that I'd like to talk about today is
this one: and this one:
And this one:
Yesssss and this one:

Many of us are fooling ourselves into believing that these men in one capacity or another are out there somewhere looking for us. Even Tyler Perry will have us to believe that these men are just waiting on Marta to pick us up or be picked up and carried into the church where our Badgley Mischka or Monique Lhuillier gowns and Neil Lane platinum wedding bands are waiting so we can be flown by unicorns off to St Barths to have sex on the beach in front of JayZ, Gwyneth, and Alicia Keys. Well friends, it aint gon happen. You will not meet him at Vita, Bachelor's Mill, Langstons, The Abbey, nope. He ain't there. He's not working at Metro Park ( mmhhmm don't even do it), Saks,Starbucks,85N, Walmart,or anywhere else. That man is not for you.

Why?

Well because more than likely, that man is heterosexual and despite all the rumors and/or the way you felt he was looking at you, he don't want you.
More importantly,what makes you think that this man is gonna pick you? Your LA Fitness membership? Your new condo? Your bedrooming techniques? Your insightful range of literature? Music Catalog? Yea...ummmm...no. You are not the one out of thousands that this man is gonna choose to have his life with. ( I know some of you are mad at me and ready to attack right now, but look to your right,then look to your left...is he there? Aiight...)

Now who IS there for you is #WhatsHisName. He has the same gym membership as you, likes the same music, is interested in a good cocktail every now and again, likes to have fun, and he is SINGLE!!! Remember you saw him in Zara/Cheesecake Factory/H&M/Kroger/Miami Sizzle but you bypassed him because you just knew something better was gonna walk by or get at you at some point. Look around again...yea... ( BTW I'm speaking as much to myself as I am y'all...)

Soooooooo...lets be more realistic in the new year huh. Go find ole boy on FB. I bet y'all have ATLEAST 10 mutual friends.

the Best scandal 2

2011-01-01T18:27:00.009-11:00

I stood upstairs nursing my champagne cocktail while I surveyed the crowd. I was at The Downe Lounge attending Aubrey and Derek's Engagement Announcement Party. Aubrey had decided he would make every point to sensationalize this moment in his life as if he were a Bergdorf Blonde permanently attached to her
wealthy daddy's BlackAMEX. While Aubrey made a good living in PR for InCrowd Relations, he was not accessible to limited funds. However, this engagement announcement event was an all access affair. The Downe Lounge was a chic sized stylish venue that included an upstairs bar and corner booths while the lower
area housed plush lounges. There was no dance floor, but enough room to dip and sway your hips if the mood allowed. I watched as the couple mingled with their
guests which included a couple c-lists celebs, semi-socialites, and few of their close friends and relatives. I scanned the rest of the lower level feeling a vibration at my side. Retrieving my phone from inside my pocket,I noticed two texts. The first from Derek that read is there a chance we can do sumthin tonight? , the other from Aubrey saying where are you? I want you to meet
somebody... I answered Aubrey responding Here I come , while walking towards the stairs.

Once on the lower level , I walked up onto Aubrey , Derek , and another young man. He was a light brown with a hint of tan. He looked as though he might have grown up somewhere that had a constant temp of 60 degrees and above. I placed a hand on my friend's shoulder as I approached. " This is one ole soiree...When I grow up, I hope to have one like this. " I smiled. The small group turned my way grinning, I could see both Derek and the young man's eyes gloss over in appreciation. " Simeon, this is my very best friend, Bilal. " I extended my hand and lidded my eyes towards the person I was meeting. He smiled with a hint of teeth showing. White teeth.(Not dental bleached, but crest white strips) " Very nice to meet you best friend." he clasped my hand in a firm but non aggressive way, his eyes also now lidded. I heard an accent, something West Indian, not deep, but noticing to someone familiar. " Do I hear an accent?"
" You might."
" Where are you from?"
" Queens."
I chuckled. OK he was witty. I like that. I also liked the look of his hands and the make up of his build under the thermal henley he wore under a suede jacket. Whether he told me where his accent originated from didn't really matter, I knew enough at this point.
" Anybody want a refill?" Derek peered at me and my empty glass then everyone else. " No I'm all good." I spoke as everyone else did the same. "Let me go with you." Aubrey said as he trailed behind Derek greeting the guests alongthe way.

Seconds later , I felt more buzzing from my phone. " So how do you know Aubrey?"
I asked.
" Do you really care? " He smiled. The look on his face was more or less predatory. I wondered if he was thinking what I was thinking.
" I'm just trying to have an innocent conversation." My eyes batted.
" We're grown men. We're old enough to handle our words, right?"
" So what are u saying?"
"I'm saying", he moved closer, "I'm feeling you and Aubrey's been trying to get us together for sometime. So now that we've met... " Whatever it was that came from the mixture of his cologne and the alcohol he drank rocked my body with the power of some island root spell. In my mind I was already naked anticipating his tongue on my...Bzzzzzz. Another buzz from my phone interrupted our direct stare.

"All ya boyfriends want u tonight." Simeon teased.
" Shhhh" I smirked while I checked the phone. Derek and Aubrey again. You gon play this dick for dude? , You and Simeon look cute together. Should I book this place for y'alls announcement in 6months or..lol.? I replied to both texts turning back to Simeon " So, do you have plans after this? "

" Damn....that feels so good..." mumbled through his bitten bottom lip. The sounds of wet lip smacking, popping, slurping, and mmmmmms uhhhhhhhhs mixed in with popular hiphop music coming from the television. I ran my mouth along the length of his tan erection sucking on the shaft like you would an overflowing ice cream cone you didn't want to melt. I listened to Simeon's soft moans as I brought his foreskin covered head into my lips preparing to nibble on its tenderness. I closed my eyes and moaned feeling Derek's thick tongue penetrate my opening. I was spread on all fours while Simeon kneeled before me feeding me the fruit of his Caribbean heritage. Derek sat behind me holding onto my thighs, his face and now tongue buried into my strong bottom. The text I'd sent to Derek told him to wait for me at my place once he got away. Me and Simeon hopped in a cab after a couple more drinks and fondled our way to my condo. We were greeted by an erect Derek and the intensity of our immediate tongue kissing and body grabbing, coupled by our buzz, faded any of Simeon's hesitance. That is, if Simeon had any.

I rocked my body against Derek's mouth while Simeon's dick slid into my throat and the swirl of my tongue against it. He slowly pumped into my face as I rode Derek's tongue reaching behind me to pull on his leaking hardness. Derek removed from under me and prepared to sheath his thick endowment, Simeon thrust his tongue into my mouth pulling my lips with his. The room was drowning in masculine sex hunger and misted in a fervent intoxifying daze. Deeper drunk with Simeon's hands as firm and aggressive as that handshake running over my body and Derek behind me stroking and rubbing his finger across my hole, we were almost too swept up to hear the knocks at the door. Almost. We continued slowly until we heard the knocks again. Then, "Bilal, its me Aubrey. I hear the tv, I'm sorry if you have company, but I really need to talk..."

Its So Cold in the D...

2010-12-15T17:31:00.003-11:00

I have no idea where that song comes from, but everybody sings it.

It's like record breaking cold weather in Atlanta and I'm over it. Yea yeaaaa I should be used to cold because I'm from CT, but fuck that, cold is cold is cold...is cold.

Christmas is next week. I need to find some Holiday Spirit from somewhere. Maybe I should buy a gift for somebody or somethin.

Speaking of, I won't be going home for Christmas. Maybe thats why I'm feeling some type of way about it.

"Obsessed" is on. It's not THAT bad...well I don't like Beyonce's hair.

It's becoming more difficult not to have penetrative sex. Y'all know I'd rather be in a relationship or really liking somebody. I don't keep condoms in the house just so I can have that as an alibi. What's gonna happen when someone brings their own? Damn you temptation!!

I feel like I might be ready to like somebody...maybe take a chance on LOVE. #shrug

That doesn't mean I'm seeing anyone though.

Should I do a Tumblr?

Wells Fargo and this work conversion has gotten on my last damn nerve.

When's the last time you've been on a date? Asked someone else on a date? I can't even remember...

Remember me once saying how I was looking for a friend of mine that I missed dearly? I found her!!! And she has a blog, look: Courtney !!!

So apparently some of the "kids" are gettin all antsy because of this Burger King commercial. Supposedly , it promotes the "DL lifestyle" or something. I don't get it, people think too hard.

" You think you crazy, I'll show you crazy." Ha!!! That damn Beyonce!!

Did you like that last lil blurb I wrote in the last post? Ehhhhhh...

Someone I know is putting together a showcase of sorts and they want me to be apart of it. I would read some of my writing. It's in NYC...

I found a new lube: Swiss Navy. I broke the pump. #eagermuch. LOL #dontjudgeme

I don't like the term " boo" as in "My boo." Don't call me that...lol

#Bye

Lost In This World

2010-12-08T17:10:00.004-11:00

* This was inspired by the song " Lost In This World" by Kanye West*

He stared out the 14ft window from the bed, watching the snow fall from the late sky, eggplant black. There was something weird about snow, he'd always thought. As a child, he felt like they were alien-like creatures each trying to make it safely dancing towards earth. He thought once they landed on your coat, or hand, or eyelash, they would smile back at you menacingly with an "Ahh Haaa I did it!" He smiled inside from these thoughts forgetting his current reality. The snow began to fall from the sky in torrents and he wanted to get up to watch in marvel. He began to stir and was placed back into the present.

He'd been up for more than a day as cocaine was a bitch, that didn't let you sleep. There was someone next to him, some reality star that liked to ride your dick until he came all over your chest then to licked it off. He looked over at him and rolled his eyes as he got up from the bed. He walked nude over to the window and noticed there was another nude body in the corner layed across the chaise. He had no idea who it was and grimaced as he reached the window. He felt somber at what his life had become. He enjoyed his success and celebrity to a fault. This was one night where he imagined his life without the excess. As pure as the snow or the coke on the bedside for that matter. He wasn't sure however, if he'd give everything up just to be able to enjoy something trivial as the city's first snow, but it was a sincere thought. As he watched the snow fall, he felt someone approach him. He only glanced as the person kissed his shoulder, then ear. As the body moved forward to his mouth , he turned his head and let the lips kiss his cheek. The person kissed from his neck to his chest before he gently shoved the head toward his growing erection. The person looked up at his direct stare and positioned between his legs. He stared outside into the snow as it danced around the city's skyline while his dick slid inside the warm mouth...

(Thats all I got so far...don't be mad..)

Home Is....

2010-11-21T09:18:00.016-11:00

Somewhere with somebody like him on your couch...;-)

So...I'm in this new apartment for about three months now. I'm no longer with my roommate ( and good friend) , so he took all of his furniture with him. I don't know if you know this, but I love design and was actually going to go to school for Interior Design , but I got scared and distracted and swept up by life. Anyhow, I am very excited about designing my new place and my idea is CrazyGlamContemporary. Something like these ( add Glam) :

And so I've been looking at different places to get it together. I took some pics. What do you think?

You know I always do things on my own time, so I'm in no rush. Donations are also accepted.

the Best scandal

2010-11-19T17:40:00.006-11:00

The magic of his body slid in and out of me with a rhythm like the Pacific, deep . We were on our knees as he held me from behind and I watched our reflection in the mirror. " What you lookin at? " He rumbled in my ear before
grabbing it with his lips. I grinned and closed my eyes. "You ready.." He spoke again. His voice was sex itself with a cadence and baritone melody like a gospel influenced soul stirrer. "Mmm..." Was all I breathed out while his pistoning
quickened. His left hand ran up my body until it held my neck, while the right hand gripped the space between my thigh and pelvic bone. The room echoed with sounds of skin against skin, grunts, groans, and howls. We ended with his teeth in the back of my neck, my teeth biting his hand and our orgasms everywhere.

As he showered, I checked my phone for voicemails and missed calls. A call was coming through while I perused through my applications.

"Hello."
"Hey, are you busy." Aubrey almost screamed into the phone. My afterglow moment
had been interrupted.
" Not exactly, why?"
" Can you come help me with some of these ceremony plans?" Aubrey was my best friend and had decided to go the route of many in our community, who now because
they could, were gay men marrying other gay men. Aubrey had met some wonderful
man of his dreams and was now planning an affair that little gay boys decades
ago could only dream of. Personally,although I understood the benefits, I
thought gay marriage was only a reason for the community to have another party.
However, I was happy for my friend and the planning would be kinda fun...maybe. I did enjoy a good party.
" What kind of plans? You gettin a damn dress?!" Now out the shower, I watched
my lover remove his towel and dress himself.
" No fool!! Can you just meet me in midtown at like 2pm today?"
" Yea..Wait why can't ya boyfriend help you?"
" You mean fiance? He's in meetings all day or something. He's not even at his
office."
" Ok, Let me get up and get dressed. Bye."
"Ok. Bye."
I tossed the phone on the bed and stood up as he was slipping his shoes on.

" Where you goin?" He grinned at me.
I stretched as I stood nude and smiled. " Your fiance needs help with wedding plans because
you're sooooo busy." He glanced at me and smirked. " Have fun with that."

As he headed out of the room , he smacked my ass mumbling " Damn you bit the shit
outta my hand...freaky ass..."

30 Damn Good

2010-11-09T17:16:00.002-11:00

For over the past year or so, I've had moments of nervousness, queasiness, and a lil anxiety over my oncoming 30yr milestone. These reasons were typical: I had no luxury car.degree.fancy apartment.successful lucrative career...blah b blah blah..womp. Of course these were all other people's ideas of what they felt it meant to be 30. Well all of that aside, I turned 30 on Sunday and I feel fucking great! I had planned to "jokingly" tell people that I was 25 indefinitely but something happened on that day. I felt vibrant. You know, we always hear as younger people that aging feels amazing as each year passes. I definitely now understand that feeling. I can say that it's hard to describe, but once you get here, you'll know. There's an inner smile when people call you old or imply such. I have a pride now. Not old boo...but alive.

Also, something that goes along with that has to do with this blog. I have been trying to find a way for months to end and close this blog. I felt that I had nothing else to really say for I'd been in Atlanta for five years, so I couldn't continue my adventures in a new place premise. There's a new wave of "Bloggers" as well that I don't actually relate to in the blogging sense. However, I have a love of writing and I have my voice and with the help of a new friend ( Hey MoonPrince!) I realized that I am actually not done with this blog. I still have a few more things to say, experience, and laugh at with y'all. This blog was named New Chapters for a reason. If turning 30 aint a new damn chapter then just throw me on a back shelf with Toni Braxton's last cd.

So you wanna know what I did for my birthday?

Saturday, I hosted a brunch for a few friends at Murphy's. #Mimosas and french toast...

After brunch, I went to Las Magaritas for drinks with some new friends and old acquaintances. #Drums, Tequila shots, and mexigays...

After that went to see "For Colored Girls..." #Moreonthatlater #shrug

Sunday, I went to Buckhead Church. #SoftRockGospel #quick #lovedit

Copelands for their wonderful jazz brunch. #fattymcfatass #delicious #jazzywings #cheesegrits

Later on, a friend took me for drinks at Einsteins. #ATLgaylandmark #cocktails

Then we went to jump with the white gays at Blakes. #shots #whipmyhair

Did you get all that? Y'all know I like things lowkey...

I Just Wanna Say This

2010-10-03T17:48:00.004-11:00

So unless you've been out of the country or completely oblivious to recent news, within the last two weeks Bishop Eddie Long of New Birth Missionary Baptist Church has been accused and is being sued by 4 men (so far) for "coercing" them into sexual relations while offering them trips, cars, cash, homes and the perks that come with being with the Bishop of a megachurch/spiritual guide to black celebrities. Now ofcourse, "Christians" and the like have gone up in arms about these allegations. Humor has come out of it and #LGBT activists have gone into overdrive. So far, Eddie has not denied the allegations but has said " I am not a perfect man." and also that he feels as though he is " David against Goliath and has 5 stones...yet to throw one...." or some shit. Well here are my thoughts:

Bishop Eddie Long is GROSS GROSS GROSS!!! Even before these allegations I thought he was disgusting and he reminds me of one of those men who would drive by the school and offer boys a ride home in their nice car while they sat in the driver's seat with their hard penis. GROSS!!

How easy and typical of people and "christians" to immediately attack the four accusers because "why would they come out with this now, they're grown men!! " Right, because at 16-18 they could handle the attack that they're receiving now?

Bishop and his 30k + followers is "David" fighting "Goliath" !?!#comeonson!!!!

Watching the video of Bishop speaking and the roar of applause from the congregation made me think of one thing. " no one man should have all that power."

It's interesting how so many "churched" people went on to pray for Bishop and his family, but no one said anything about praying for the young men. If these allegations come out true ( I'm trying to be unbiased) it means these men were taken advantage of and caused horrible emotional pain. They don't deserve prayer?

Don Lemon of CNN went on air and described his own dealings with a pedophile and how what these young men were saying sounds exactly like what he went through. No one heard him?

I may not be "churched" (go figure) but I do believe in a GOD that loves all and not just those that can recite scriptures verbatim. I understand that christians are not perfect and once they ALSO understand that, maybe they can get along with others that don't share their views.

It's really troubling to me to hear people in the LGBT community make jokes about these young men calling them "trade that got mad" or " dick in the booty gays" trying to get money. Seriously? Are we that jaded and self loathing?

God has a way of letting you know who's God.

Ok I'm done.

For now....

Champagne

2010-08-25T07:46:00.004-11:00

Champagne

Bubbles that tickle wet
Virgin pussy sneaky wild eyed
Sexting lust that same ole
Spellbound bachannal hedonist
Fragrant familiar
Drunk torturer the sorceress
Spirited nude
Asti amorous

ChildPlease

2010-08-01T17:29:00.002-11:00

Somebody tell OchoCinco....nevermind...

So I feel like I wanna vent/rant about something but I don't wanna go off. Let's see how the rest of this goes.

I recently finished reading " Visible Lives: A Tribute to E. Lynn Harris" featuring Terrance Dean, James Earl Hardy, and Stanley Bennett Clay. I'll say that I enjoyed it. Hardy and Clay are great writers. I got a little sad though because I always wanted to have something endorsed by E Lynn Harris or even just to meet him.

I also just listened to " Official Book Club Selection" by Kathy Griffin. I love Kathy Griffin and her reading her own audiobook was hilarious. Like getting 6hrs+ of her standup. She also talks about her marriage and working with Brooke Sheilds. If you like audiobooks, have you tried Audible.com?

Shout Outs to http://www.prunejuicemedia.com/ and long time supporter Matt.

One thing to say about dating: Your inconsistency causes my nonchalance.

Ok one more thing: Don't fault me for my honesty.

How's your summer been? Have you taken full advantage of it's potential? Nah, I don't think I have, but I've got a month or so left huh?

I've been hearing the term " equally yolked" very often lately. What you tryna tell me?

I love digital cable, if not for anything but Vh1Soul.

Brown Skin...you know I love your brown skin...I can't tell where your's begin, I can't tell where mine ends...

I've started an apt search. Womp-fuckin-Womp...If there's anything I don't like it's the tediousity ( did I make up that word) of apt searching. I have some options though, so it should work out.

Chelsea Clinton, Alicia Keys & Swizz Beats, and T.I. and Tiny all got married this weekend. What's in the air? Cuz I didn't get none on me. Congrats to them however.

If you let everyone you're interested in romantically just teeter away from you, is that fear of dissappointment, lack of commitment, or just laziness? Or is it just that you'd rather let the prospect go, before you yourself fucks it up?

If you can't get anything in Atlanta, you can get these few things: A waffle, A taco, and a man with a L.A. Fitness membership.

I guess I really didn't need the rant/vent. See how you all are healing...not you with the judgment face...

D de Lanvin

2010-07-11T15:20:00.004-11:00

*Something quick, I hope you like*

D de Lanvin stood backstage glistening under a terry cloth robe. His hair had been blown out, flatironed, and volumed with a "secret" added track that allowed a cascade passed his shoulders. HipHop Honors: Ladies First was being taped at Hammerstein Ballroom. Honoring femaleMCs of the last 25yrs of hiphop music. He was there for what would be his catalyst into Superstar rap status. His current single "D-Licious" had topped the charts for weeks but that wasn't enough. His glamager, Genevieve, made passionate points about her plans for his career. " They need to know that you can't be fucked with," she'd spit, " Multi-fuckin-platinum out gay ass success.Shit."
Small nerves rumbled through D's torso as he was walked to his position. The robe was replaced with a fur collared black trench unbelted with thermal style pants,fingertipped leather gloves, Mykita sunglasses and heavy black motorcycle boots. He was given a microphone and helped to his position. As the house lights went down, he bent his head and took slow breaths. He heard fans turn on and smoke machines exhale. He listened to Cassie and Lauren London on stage announce, " She's still the teflon bitch from the sky. And to pay tribute...well you'll just have to see for yourself.."
D de Lanvin smiled to himself as he heard the track start. He posed listening to the first " Heh heheheh..." before the lights went up. The audience roared once he came into view. The wind blew through his hair and caused the trench to fly before he began " I Mama, miss Ivana...usually rock the Prada, sometimes Gabbana...stick you for creme and ya riches...Zsa Zsa Gabor, Demi Moore, Prince Diane and all them rich bitches..." He sold sex as he emoted down the prop staircase in the revealing costume. The crowd jumped to their feet in awe and thrill as he rocked his perfomance at fullthrottle.

" You ready? Here...," Genevieve placed the tiny mound of powder on her Minxed pinky nail to D's nose. D sniffed and shook his head "yes" as the door to their chauffered car opened to the redcarpeted after party. Paparazzi screamed and lights flashed while they stood together,then separately. They both now wore studded Christian Louboutins, him in sneakers, she in platform heels. Her in a black RM by Roland Mouret mini dress, him now in dark denim, a tshirt and a blk leather Dolce jacket. His hair was now in ponytail crowned by spiked sunglasses. The champagne and accolades overflowed as D sat atop the back of a tuffed lounge receiving all of his glory. Gen was right, that performance had set him blasting into the galaxy of stars. #D de Lanvin, #Lanvin, #Dde, and #Dde'sThighs were all Trending on Twitter. Lil Kim herself came by to speak and thank Dde for her tribute, tellin him she loved it. He entertained, sipped, and sniffed as countless celebrities praised, made idle chatter about working together and welcoming him to " The Club" He grew loose by the second.

After his 6th or 12th or 22nd flute of champagne, Dde hopped off the lounge to the bathroom to piss. While at the urinal, he heard " Aye Whaddup Lanvin!!! That performance was hot!!! Damn man!! He turned his head to see NBA Baller Chuck Damian. He smiled but continued to piss, as he became aware of how high and tipsy he was. Chuck smiled back at him and sucked in his bottom lip. " You like that huh?, "Dde grinned as he flushed and dangled his dick. " Yea..." Chuck growled. Dde turned from the urinal with his now semi-erection hanging from his jeans. They eyed each other as Lanvin purred, " Show me how much...."

Funny How Time Flies

2010-06-23T09:46:00.004-11:00

Y'all remember that song by Intro? They were a good group...remember the one of them died from AIDS related illness, he was bisexual and all that?mmhhmm. That was some time ago, before the DL "phenomenon" and all that chaos.

Anyways, thats not the reason for that title. The time has come again that I have passed this blog anniversary AND my move to Atlanta anniversary. It has been five years for both. I was a good,sturdy,thin,taut,agile,fresh faced, firebomb 24 y/o ( YES ALL OF THAT !) when I began and moved. Now, well I'm still good and sturdy LMAO . People always ask me how Atlanta is treating me and when I'm moving and how long do I plan to stay here. That's all funny to me considering I didn't move here as part of the trend or for a specific purpose that would come and go. I also hear ," So you're still hangin in there with Atlanta huh?" I have no idea what that's suppose to mean. However, I am still here. I still generally enjoy my life here. I have met some amazing people and have had some amazing experiences. I think I've also grown quite a bit while here. Hmmm...well here's a few posts from the years gone. These are from 2006-2007.

The I'm not a Lesbian Post

The Marta Verbiage Post

The Kissin Wit My Daddy Post

The I Dont Get It Post

The Allright Post

The Flyy Boy Post

The Dating Sux Post

The Cure for Burn Out

2010-06-06T10:56:00.007-11:00

You ever been just fatigued, ridiculously tired, and completely worn out? I'm sure, and no matter what anyone says to you ( because we all know how people are) everyone that works hard needs a break. A real break. Anyhow, so I personally decided to take Memorial Day Weekend and go to San Juan, Puerto Rico. If you've been following these last five years of these New Chapters. YES FIVE...let that sit for a moment............................... Then you know that I've gone to San Juan once before. >>AYEEEEE<<::Disclaimer:: This was 5yrs ago...and what memories...grin...

However, this time was different. I wasn't there with SanJuanBrothers and dozens of enticing brown and gold colored men just waiting to drink and participate in all kinds of hedonistic entertainments. This time, I went to relax and reflect. Don't get me wrong, ofcourse the lush that I am enjoyed a coctail or two or three or...shut up. I also enjoyed the flavor of Condado Beach and Old San Juan. I did not get wasted and party with delicious local puertoricans or the traveling like tho. I thoroughly enjoyed my time there and dare I say it, San Juan might be somewhere to set up residence some point in the future. Hey remember the last time what happened. :)

So no scandal this vacay, maybe I'm getting too old. (DONT YOU DARE AGREE)

A Slick-Ass Mouth

2010-05-16T19:07:00.003-11:00

So I've often spoken of my smart ass mouth. It's possibly a defense mechanism or just my active wit that folks don't know how to take....well some of them... Anyhow, I believe this slick mouth has caused a few *cough to get away. Case in point: I was at a bar the other night with some friends. They were playing house music and while I could've danced to what they were playing I had yet to get to the point of buzz where I could let the music lead me and " save my life". So I wanted another drink and I turned to order, this man pressed upon me. He was older, slender muscular, waist-length twisted and locked, and tattooed (not in that trendy hiphop jail ink way, but moreso the alternative art scene funky fragrant oil smelling way). He was sexy and edgy and unlike many of the others I'd seen, his shoes and outfit combo worked for me. As I waited to order my Rum and something he asked " are you gonna order my drink for me?" Of course I would... Smiling I asked him what he wanted and he responded Vodka and grapefruit juice. So the bartender didn't have any grapefruit juice and he told me cranberry instead. This is the point that I said " You're too difficult." And while after some brief back and forth and the paying of drinks, he escaped...sigh.. So I'm not saying it was completely my mouth, perhaps he just wanted a drink and instead of waiting....

Damn me and my damn mouth.

BoomBoomBoom

2010-05-11T17:08:00.003-11:00

Who's idea was it to display some salivatingly delish photo of a sometime half naked man to intro a blog post? Whoever, thank you! I enjoy it!

I'm currently having multiple glasses of Rogue Riesling. I like Rogue because I have trouble uncorking wine bottles and this particular bottle while cost efficient, isn't as cheap as a Sutter Home or Beringer, however has a twist off top.

Did I ever tell you all that I believe that either mommy prays against me dating men or someone has a root on me. I say this because every time I invite a young man over to " read the bible", he A. has a car accident en route B. gets pulled over by the police C. has a flat tire...or some other such deterrent. I rebuke it!!!

I just finished reading " Lets Talk About Pep" the memoirs of Sandy "Pepa" Denton of Salt n Pepa. Some fun facts: Her, Salt, Hurby (the luvbug), Kid n Play, and Martin Lawrence all worked together at a Sears call center before they all got in the entertainment business. Wendy Williams auditioned for the spot of Spinderella.

I'm gon make some people mad when I say this...Stop trying to make Kelly Rowland happen! She's not gonna happen!!

Women have been extra nice to meet lately. Lemme find out. #notgonhappen

With just about a headline daily about some one's marriage going to shit because someone is cheating, isn't it interesting how hard the LGBT community has to fight for marriage equality?

Have you ever "loved someone's dirty draws"? Me either. Oh but I did like someone's ashy, nappyheaded, bowlegged, narrow ass. Is that what that means?

So I was trying to get rid of extra paper waste and I came across some pics that this dude I knew sent me. He was in the navy. I wonder if he's ok.

I also found an address of a friend of mine that I miss SO MUCH. I hope its still her address. I could really use her words of advice, humor, and comfort sometimes. She was like the love of my life.

Quick Confession

2010-04-17T16:38:00.002-11:00

I have a confession. I don't like feeling vulnerable. AT ALL. Maybe it's some scorpio shit, if you believe in that. Perhaps its me and my independent/strong nature. I don't like feeling weak and/or helpless in any situation. Most of all, I'm talking about in situations of dating. I don't like that shit one bit. I don't wanna feel like I'm bothering somebody or like I have to sit and wait up for a phonecall/text/bbm. That doesn't work for me. Maybe I come from a place where I like control or I just want to know some honest real shit. ( Can you tell I'm a lil irritated? I've had one or two drinks....) Anyways, I'm like almost 30 ( I know!!! shut up!) , so I just don't like the bullshit. I've been in this game way too long to be playing around with some simple nonsense.

Grrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

Okay. I'm done. I'm goin to dance it off....

Vulnerablely Exposed

2010-03-18T18:14:00.003-11:00

" Did you miss me today?"

Honestly, I said Yes. No matter how much I wanted to talk shit. Or change the subject. Or say something witty. I exhaled out an honest Yes. I also smiled one of those smiles that happen from inside and widen through the eyes. I didn't even know where all of that came from. Maybe because he's so sooo sooooo Brooklyn and eventhough we didn't speak for 1. 2. 3. months, there's something about him that I want....at times DEEP.

There's something that makes me feel passion, and fun, and sensuality. It has to be because he's so sooo sooooo Brooklyn.

LOVE

2010-03-10T20:53:00.003-11:00

Illogical

Unplanned

Its not perfectly worded

It's not outlined in crystals

or clothed in YSL and Vera Wang

Its not reservations on Valentine's Day

It's hyperemotional

Its a 2.5 second mood swing from rage to lust

An unprovoked tear

It is odd

It is clumsy, sloppy, and drunk

It is simultaneously fast and in slow motion

It is quick breaths and slow exhales

Unrestrained

It is full price plus tip

It speaks Fuck.Shit.Damn

and screams Jesus

LOVE is a feeling.

Assed Out

2010-03-01T19:37:00.002-11:00

So like maybe a month ago, my desktop PC completely died. I shut it down one night, it was supposed to be receiving updates...but when I turned it on....she coughed and went on to glory. So, I've been ASSED OUT. I had to scramble to get my school work finished on time, I was just so stressed out. However, Father has helped me with a laptop purchase so I'm getting it back together. Now I just need to get my music library back up and see if I can get some other files off the dead pc.....le sigh

Nice ass though right? A little bit?

TuesDay/WednesDay

2010-02-09T16:40:00.002-11:00

So I knew this photographer while I was in highschool and I wanted some photos taken of me that weren't cheesy and/or like smiley Sears or Picture People like. I was about 15 and I took these pics. I had no idea what I wanted or anything, I just had the shoot done. It was fun though, I was way too skinny and didn't realize it, I also had no haircut. I remember mommy saying that I looked like I was a runaway child. This is one of the photos. I still like it. Shrug.
The detox came and went. I was way too hungry all the time, but 5 days is enough isn't it? I've decided to just eat better. No sodas, no over indulging sweets. I love food too much maybe. Pasta, wings, bread...you know I just love it all. What do people call that? a foodie? I guess. I just like to eat. Pause.
The success of Precious amazes me. I would have never thought that such a book would ever be made into a great movie. For anyone that loves the movie, they should read Push by Sapphire. I read it as a teenager ( I think I've said this too many times.) and I've never forgotten the story. Lee Daniels has done a wonderful job with the storytelling. The movie deserves all of the accolades that it receives.
While we're talking about Precious, I don't understand the controversy. The comments that the movie is degrading, stereotypical, shows black people in a false light. Whatever, I feel like people are upset that now everyone can see some truth to situations that happen in our community and didn't want the light to be shown. Brings to mind Wanda Sykes' " White people are looking at you!! " -type of thinking.
Since I'm on a rant, why are people still upset about Halle Berry and Denzel Washington's Oscar wins. That whole argument about them having to have won playing such unfavorable characters instead much more "better" roles. From my understanding they won because these characters were so much unlike them that it was great. I thought that was the point of acting, maybe I'm crazy... Anyhow, did anyone get upset when Julia Roberts won for playing Erin Brockivich(sp) or Charlize Theron for Monster? Ok...
So The Saints won the SuperBowl. Congrats to them. I went to a nice lil Superbowl soiree and I still don't understand the entertainment of football.
Valentines Day is coming around again. Interesting the difference a year makes. Click Me
I've been sitting here all day drugged up on Nyquil...this soup has me sweating and I forgot everything else I wanted to say.
Even though I've got the sneezy-sniffles, I've been feeling like a good #tunasub (for you non twitters, read that backwards and you'll understand) for the last two days. TMI? Shrug.

So I was Thinking...

2010-01-26T17:39:00.002-11:00

Not really...I just needed a reason to post this photo...luv it. Anyhow, so blogger/activist/twitfriend/socialite JoeyBahamas was talking about how he'd been doing this detox. He'd drink one of those Odwalia (sp) superfood drinks for breakfast, have one solid meal, and snack on fruits and veggies for the day. No bread.dairy.sweets.alcohol. Well, I thought this sounded like something I could do since it wasn't as suicidal as the Master Cleanse or the SeaWater douche or whatever the hell its called. So I started yesterday which was Monday and ummmm it was cool. Today however, I went to Publix to get some things and those oriental wings were screaming at me and so I cheated. I also had some of this delicious Riesling that I bought the other day. Shhhhhhhh don't tell Joey please. I'll be on it, the rest of the week. I really don't have any goals for it except to regain some energy and not feel sleepy all the time. Then maybe I can step onto some type of fitness contraption and be perky tittie beach ready.

Last weekend I went out with someone I've been seeing to his coworker's birthday dinner at Aja. I was a little apprehensive at first because it was all hetero blacks and sometimes you're just not in the mood, you know how the heteros can be sometimes. Who wants to be bothered, right? I actually had a good time per my Ketel One dirty martini with 3 olives and all the Grey Goose peartinis everyone else had. The food was nice, the DJ was on it playing everything from Bobby Brown to Cheryl Lynn(?) Gots ta Be Real. The atmosphere was really live and iLive for the decor. The guy is someone I've been seeing since around Christmas, recently moved to the area which means that the "hiatus" of one year some months from sexual things is now over. Mmhhmm...I have a question though. Maybe it's me in my old age, but I feel like I just want to hang out with someone that I like. Have fun, chill, do things....date, but not with the prospect of there having to be something else. Does that make sense? I don't necessarily want to be boyfriends or lovers or even exclusive. I just want to like somebody, they like me back and we enjoy each other for awhile. Does that sound crazy? Selfish? Hmmm...I'm probably just talking shit as usual huh?

January 9, 2010

2010-01-08T20:30:00.003-11:00

So its the end of the first week of a new decade. Time really flies huh? Where did you think you'd be in 2010? We still haven't reached Jetson status huh? Maybe?
How was your New Years? The above photo is something I twitpiced entitled : The Morning After. You like? I had a good time.
My good friend has decided to blog again. Look for him on the left side since I haven't asked if I could link it...lol.
You ever wonder how huge celebrities get their mail? Like does it come in a mailbox like us normal folks? Keeeeeeeee...
If you come from a rough neighborhood, nervous upbringing, and "make it" out " the hood" , is it wrong to become a newly refined person and never look back? Or would you consider that selling out?
I have a theory about the way someone hugs you can tell you what position they may want you to play while on their team, I'm gonna share it soon.
Ask me anything you want. http://formspring.me/GaryTylone
You think Rupaul is salty for not being recognized for being one of the originators for lacefront wigs?
How many times have you seen Precious? Know the words yet?
Speaking of, you think Andre Leon Talley will appoint himself stylist to Gabby for award show season like he did Jennifer Hudson?
My Highschool reunion celebration was December 19. Guess who wasn't there?
Don't you find it interesting that when you become tired of dealing with a potential date's bullshitting you around and you call them on it, all of a sudden there's an attitude against you and you're the one that has the problem?
So raise your hand if one of your goals for the new year is to workout and get your body together. *raises hand* Now raise your hand again if you have yet to step into a fitness facility since the year started. *raises hand*
That's it, I've rambled enough.

Quicky

2009-11-15T19:40:00.002-11:00

I used to tease
I was agile
Feline
leaving a trail of climaxes
in hyper bliss
breath taking and ticklish
I call him Fever
He makes me sweat
Fucks me Red
in hip hop lyricism
strokes me like an island Mojito
He holds me on orgasmic endowment
pumps full of Nina Simone soul
and "Rocket Love" groove

drunk and erected

he melted all over me.

Genevieve

2009-11-08T19:04:00.002-11:00

So like many of you, I thoroughly enjoy the entertainment industry. I more enjoy the machine aspect of it and the devilish claims of what goes into creating superstars and what some of us will never know. We've all heard the behind the scenes stories about the mansion parties and such. Anyhow, I wrote this on the train one day. Enjoy:

She walked into the townhouse with a delightful inner smile. D. Gemstone’s single had just reached number one on Billboard’s Hip Hop and R&B charts and his video was among the top five on ITunes. Her new pet project was turning platinum at the blink of an extended eyelash. Genevieve Barrows was CEO of Isabella Records, one of the industries premiere record companies. The company, named after her paternal great grandmother, was passed to her about ten years ago. Her father, Errol Chadwick Barrows lost a terrible battle with cancer during the time and placed his burgeoning company in her manicured finger tips. Since, Genevieve had turned the company into a blossoming force of music business. Through her hands on approach, artists had produced record smashing hits. During her decade of reign, she’d become a media darling, socialite, and style icon. High fashion fell off of the woman as if she were a hanger while she floated through rooms with the grace of a gazelle.
Genevieve walked through to her master bathroom where she was greeted by her newest beau, actor-singer Sould McArliss in a deep bathtub piled with confectious bubbles. She stepped out of her Louboutins and removed her simple St. John sheath and climbed into the tub and his massaging arms. The two met over a year ago at an exclusive industry event. Genevieve was as aggressive as any man and often tossed men out her bed with the same nonchalance as nose blown tissue. This one however, had lasted longer than most. She recollected her day and delight with him while he listened and eased the day from her body. His rubbing hands put her in such a mood, she decided that he deserved a treat, and told him so.
“Go and prepare. I’ll be there in a second, “She told him and watched him hop up from the tub, his semi erection bobbing, as he scurried giddily into the bedroom. Gen then took time to rinse the bubbles off her body. She then stepped out of the tub and walked into her dressing salon. Reaching into one of her drawers, she retrieved a chrome colored strap on. People have often whispered that she was so cocksure at times, she must have a dick. They had no idea. Walking into the bedroom she noticed Sould on the bed, his legs spread receiving two of his own lubed fingers. Genevieve smiled and spoke, “No. Over here.” She sat on a chaise in the corner of the room. “Sit on it.”

Perhaps

2009-10-18T18:51:00.002-11:00

So it is 1:15am Monday morning before sunlight. I've lit a gingerbread candle and sucked the Coconut Bacardi taste from an ice cube. VH1 Soul is feeding my soul indeed. Secretly...I feel some kind of way. But...:

I've realized some time ago that I don't blog as much only because perhaps I've said just about all that I've needed to say in this chapter of life. The things I've learned and/or become aware of are what I've already written about. As I read and find other blogs, I see that some of them are now learning these same things. It's a cycle of growth...
So I'm very anxious to see the movie Precious based upon Sapphire's "Push". I can remember reading the book while in highschool and having such a wowed reaction to it. Maybe thats why I was so grown as a teenager.
When you continue to gain multiple dissapointment within your dating life, how do you deal? Bury your feelings? Indulge more in friends and family? Find your way through a bottle of Patron/Moscato/Nuvo/Hennessy/Bacardi/Remy Martin/Veuve ? Say fuck it all, and disconnect?
I find it interesting that with all that's been going on with Morehouse College and other education institutions in that area, that no one discusses that the neighborhoods in which these campuses are located are terrible and maybe this has something to do with the crime there.
Speaking about Morehouse, this new "dress code". Boooo.
I attended and participated in AIDSWalk Atlanta this weekend. I'm very glad I did. Such a rewarding experience.
I went on a date some weeks ago. During the date, I learned that this young man was a Kappa ( rollseyes). So we talked about how or possibly why it has been that the majority of the men I've dated in my four years living here have been Kappas. Dude said, " Kappas like boys like you." What are boys like me? I haven't had a chance to ask him.
Why is everyone a singer/actor/model/photographer/dancer/songwriter/choreagrapher? No one wants to be a firefighter anymore?
What are you gonna be for Halloween?

Coming Out-Repost

2009-10-13T18:56:00.002-11:00

Sunday was National Coming Out Day so I decided to repost my own coming out story...sorry I'm a bit late. Enjoy...

Originally posted on June 15 2005

Reliving the Past

So today as I was going through some of my things deciding what to pack, ship, sell, and throw away, I came across some of my old journals. So of course I had to take a break, grab a glass of orange pineapple juice, and relive some of my life. It was really interesting to see the language I would speak and how I wrote. It was also interesting to read my growth as a person from crushing on girls, worrying about my looks to becoming a full out gay. Reading about the boys that put me through it while in highschool (including a certain young man from New Haven that was very much in the closet, but seemingly smitten by my beauty who mysteriously dissappeared one day to reappear with a new identity, new body, and a now as I see him these days, a newfound comfort in his sexuality), the fun I had in The Looking In Theater group, my first curlykit, my first NYC Club (Twilo), my first Latex Ball,my first eyebrow snatching, my first break up, my firsts.

One of the most significant entries was the day that I came out. Well, the day I was outed. The entry was a very small one as I probably couldn't bare to express all of what I was feeling. Ok so I'm gonna relive that day with you all now. Here we go.

It was a Sunday, September, my senior year of highschool 1997. I had just came in from church with my mother. I didn't usually go to church but this was my punishment for going out the night before. My mother had gone to the store to buy a pepsi and my aunt called. I answered the phone and my aunt said to me, "Hi". I replied the same. She then asked me about the message I left on my mother's answering machine the evening before which stated, " I'm leaving, Bye." ( You see, the day before me and moms had got into an argument and I wasn't supposed to leave the house, but I did anyhow and left that on the machine.) I said yeah that's what I left on the machine and my aunt said, " Ok. Well I'm coming over." In about ten minutes all of my aunts arrived. Since I like spending time with family I didn't think anything of it, but I could sense there was something else going on.

They asked me to sit down and Aunt W began asking me questions. She said, " We came to talk to you. I know that you are living a certain lifestyle which is gay. Right? ( I nodded, while Aunt P sat by me and began to rub my back) I know that you are scared to tell your mother, right? ( I nodded again) Well she needs to know and we are gonna tell her today. She's not gonna kick you out she's gonna love you. But, this lifestyle is not of God and we must pray about it. OK? " "Ok," I replied although I was terrified. Just then my mother came into the house and I was asked to go to my room. While in my room I got on 3way with friends to tell them what was about to go down and we were all trembling.

When I was called back into the living area, my mother was sitting at the table. I was trying to read her face , but it was blank. Aunt W then said we were going to pray now. We all gathered hands as the prayer was asked to rebuke Satan and rebuke the gay demons from the house and from my spirit. While all the Yes Lords and Please Jesus' swam across the room from every direction, I just stood there probably in shock. When everyone echoed their amens, they all ( including my godmother who had arrived for dinner) hugged me, my mother now with tears in her eyes, as Aunt W went about the house anointing it with oil and dabbing a drop on my forehead. Then as quick as it all happened, it all was done and my aunts were gone.

I had no idea what to feel. I was annoyed. I was relieved. I was sad. I was angry. I was confused. I didn't know what I was supposed to do then. Why had that happened? Why did they decide to do that on that day? Did my message on the answering machine trigger some concern that I would maybe decide to runaway from home? It was never talked about again since that day. The oil and the rebuking continued for about two weeks after that as a morning ritual with my mother, but never any real discussion. I tried to make light of the situation although a pimple grew in that oiled spot that had me very annoyed. I joked about it to my then boyfriend, telling him I may be straight soon, so he had better enjoy our time together. However, it wasn't a joking matter. I mean I can laugh at the ridiculousness of it all now, but at that time, it was very tragic.

So there you have it. It's interesting to be able to go back and relive the experiences that have made me the person who I am today. Like Faith Evans: "If I had to do it all again, I wouldn't take away the rain because I know it made me who I am. "

Bad Habits

2009-08-11T18:40:00.003-11:00

The Inspiration:

...Candles affected a hazy glow across the room. I stood at the foot of the bed in an intoxicated way. There was something about him that generated more than magnetism. I had a hunger. A lips licking hunger. A tongue wagging hunger. I could never explain it. He layed on the bed taut, agile, ripe wearing barely nothing as I prepared to join him. There was music playing, something late night R&B, a grownfolks crooner. There was intense stare in his eyes as he watched me remove my pants and my smirk widened. As I climbed on top of the bed, I could hear my phone vibrating inside my pocket. It was probably the boyfriend telling me he'd landed safely, that he'd call me once he checked in to his hotel. A routine that granted access to this moment. I reached this man's face with my lips, my hands gripping his torso. His taste had become familiar now. I'd licked his Adam's apple more than a fourth time eventhough I said I would stop after the second. His body responded to my hands in the fiery way I loved. This was hell and I couldn't get enough of it. He was a poison, I thought, more than a vice, more than a habit. I heard my phone buzzing again while I removed his Lycra hip cut confection. The boyfriend had gotten in his room safely and would be ordering room service, he would call before bed. I would be available to answer then. Now, however, I spread the thighs in front of me to feast on this addiction...

The Impact

2009-07-26T07:13:00.003-11:00

I was just a freshman in highschool, barely fourteen, when I was introduced to my first E Lynn Harris novel. I remember talking to my homegirl and one of her new friends, the two of them talking about some new book that one of them was reading " Invisible Life". The girl couldn't seem to put down the book apparently, this book that seemed to be about a gay man, a gay black man. My thought bubble exclaimed , " WHAT ?!?!?!" I was very intrigued and made a mental note to research this book further and somehow get my hands on it. I had recently become aware of my own sexuality and in effort to get some type of understanding, I had secretly been checking every book out of the library about the subject that I could possibly relate to fiction and nonfiction. I had found some things of interest ,but of course, any relation to me the Mary J Blige, SWV, Xscape, Notorious BIG, Method Man, Rap City, quietstorm R&B, and Dancehall Reggae influenced teenager was a little farfetched. So I searched the library but they didn't have it. Instead, they had " Just As I Am" to which I immediately grabbed and brought home to sink into. Although it was fiction, the book showed me what I had been hoping and praying had existed. Gay black men living, loving, and lusting beyond the stereotypes that I had been exposed to. I was excited beyond belief and somewhat awakened with a new love of self and what I was to become. I became an immediate supporter and have read and owned every novel written plus his memoirs. E Lynn's writing style has influenced my own writing by his colorful choice of descriptives like using Vanilla Wafers as someone's skintone. I personally believe that his writing has impacted a generation of our community as well as brought a movement and an awareness before any such propaganda and frenzy about a " DL phenomenon". E Lynn Harris was a great writer and inspiration to the community. May he Rest In Peace.

Mmhhmm Hi.

2009-07-19T15:31:00.004-11:00

So apparently, Karrine "Superhead" Steffans is back with the third installment of her Vixen series, this one called " The Vixen Manual : How to Find, Seduce and Keep the Man You Want". She is currently married to Darius McCrary whom we all know as Eddie Winslow in Family Matters. Anyhow, I listened to an interview she did with Ed Lover and Free on Power105 the other day as well as this interview she did on The Today Show. On both shows, she expressed the idea that in order to keep a good man, you must let him be a man. Hmmmm...pay attention to the message and not the messenger maybe...? ( How does that notion figure into a relationship with two men? Shut up. )
How are you all enjoying Maxwell's BLACKsummer's night? Such a breath of fresh air right? The instrumentation is so amazing and so sexyfunky. Ugh I almost cried the first time I listened to the cd...lol...
How is everyone enjoying their summer? Nice vacays? Hot summer flings? Flirty pool parties? I know...I saw you. How long have you had that tattoo?
So I went on a date the other day. It was an anniversary of sorts as well as just a second date. I'll explain that sometime later... We had ice cream. I want him to touch me. Here we go again...
Speaking of flirty, how much do we love that Black/Italian server at Joes on Juniper? Gorgeous features.
I went to see Harry Potter. Great movie if you're a Harry Potter fan. Malfoy with that platinum hair and black suit is so haute. Was I the only one that noticed a favorable presence of people of color in this installment? The waitress in the beginning, the blk boy that the camera seemed to love, Weasley's (?) sister's little boyfriend....ohhhh we love the british.
So Justin Timberlake received an Emmy nomination for the Single Ladies SNL sketch. ( shrugs shoulders)
So I just finished reading Our Kind of People by Lawrence Otis Graham. Very interesting book, most intriguing chapter is about African Americans who left their families to live lives as white people. The book has also helped me to have some type of insight into the airs and mentality of some of the people I've come across. If you remember, recently there was some buzz about "Our Kind of People" and their receiving of the Obamas vacationing in the popular Oak Bluffs of Marthas Vineyard. Click Click Click
Why aren't you tweeting yet? Tweet Tweet Tweet

If You're Interested

2009-07-15T11:52:00.002-11:00

N.O.R.E. talks about gay rappers

I Felt It

2009-07-07T17:44:00.002-11:00

It's happened to me a few times. One of the first times was when HE and I lost touch conveniently around a time when a new "friend" of his named Sebastian ( I always loved that name) began to come around. I was at work and I felt a sudden and strong tug at my insides. A tug so strong that it extracted a tear from my eye and a grunt from my lips. For some reason I KNEW. I knew exactly what it meant and I called it my "woman's" intuition. Another instance occured when a different HE had began some strange " there's something missing with us" chat. I was at work again ( a different job) listening to a new singer Amerie at the time, " All I Have " when I received the same tug. Again I knew. More recently, I was sitting at my computer one Sunday and got that feeling again. This time I hadn't been consistently dating anybody, but still my mind went to this HE. Maybe something was wrong. Although we hadn't spoken in weeks, I still just knew HE was the reason for the tug. So I texted. And HE replied. He said he was ok. Hmmmm I thought. Then why the tug this time? I pondered and I slept on it. I even came across something that could be the answer. As it crossed my mind today, I thought about all of these situations and I realized this wasn't the intuition tug. That had come much earlier. What this might really be is a tug signaling the confirmation that the connection I'd had with the HE's were now released. The moment that THE HEART ( not your pride) is saying that it's REALLY over. Maybe...

The King Of Pop

2009-06-25T20:11:00.002-11:00

Celebrate and Get Into The Great Entertainer

Micheal Jackson - Beat It
Uploaded by sandeep82. - Explore more music videos.

Micheal Jackson - Bad
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Micheal Jackson - Thriller
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Scream
Uploaded by picotter. - Music videos, artist interviews, concerts and more.

Micheal Jackson - Remember the Time
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Micheal Jackson - Smooth Criminal
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1st and Love

2009-06-10T17:51:00.003-11:00

I love that song. Really.

When someone is around the age of 25 and begins to reevaluate and second guess their life, it is often noted as " the quarter life crisis" right? Then somewhere in your 50s or 60s when this happens again, it is called " the midlife crisis" right? Well what if this happens when you turn 20 or 23 or 28 or 33 or 44? Is it then that particular year-crisis? Or is the reevaluation and challenge of your life just apart of a person's evolution?

I watched " He's Just Not That Into You" the other day and I have a couple of thoughts. First, men and women will never understand each other, so they should just accept that. Second, those of us who are men that seek other men, should know better. Shouldn't we?

Speaking of " He's Just.....", I think that my appreciation for romantic comedies is what keeps me in the hopes for a happy ending. Escaping into that delusion keeps my mind brewing at the thought that I too can one day have a June wedding at The Plaza with a candy buffet.

How long do you have to be dating someone before you invite them to a gathering with friends? Why do you invite them?

My cuddle buddy KS is going away to law school. I'm honestly gonna miss him.

Do you find yourself always having to sit facing the door? Is that a hood , being able to see something coming thing or are you just nosey?

Twitter has become an interesting way to find out that some celebrities are actually annoying while others are genuinely fantastic people. ( www.twitter.com/GaryTylone)

It has been over a year since I've done anything sexual. I just felt the need to say that. ( shrugs shoulders)

The photo above is Melanie Fiona. She is...uh...Dope. Click Click Click for the video to her song " Give It to Me Right"

Somebody

2009-05-26T18:27:00.002-11:00

Explain to me what's REALLY going on with this. Did he really "challenge" Omarion, Bow Wow, Chris Brown and others to do the same thing? Hmmmm...I'm waiting on the response videos...lol..

Ummm Yeahh..

2009-05-24T10:54:00.002-11:00

I listen before I speak out
those things protective and maybe rebellious
but those lyrics are choked through loneliness
the panic button for my honest feelings halted
a default smile is required
maybe the joke's on me
I am the commonality
maybe I'm the devil
and the devil wears caution
How the yellow gets brighter with age
makes it easier to decline
without those strangled lyrics
my default smile

Fancy

2009-05-12T17:43:00.003-11:00

I really like that song. Actually I really like the end when the track switches and the beat drops on it. Fancy, by The Dream...

I've been completely consumed by Facebook and Twitter which is the reason why I've been neglectful of ole blog here...my bad..

Oh yeah and that Twitter is: Http://www.twitter.com/GaryTylone.

Sometime last month marked my fourth year of writing this blog. I dont write as much as I used to or even about what I used to, but I do thank everyone who still drops by. I'd like to think that I kept true to what I wanted with this blog which was just an outlet and a platform for my thoughts. It has been that, and in honor of these four years, take a peek at an interview I did some four years ago with Trent Jackson. The Spaceship Has Landed

I was in Saks the other day and came across a cologne from the brand Bond No. 9. The scent reminded me of something BD wears. ( Cue Jill Scott: "wondering if you wear the same cologne...")I can admit that I actually miss him sometimes. The good stuff of course.

Our good blogger friend of Dreams in a Fitted ShawnQT has been apart of the group FIVEBLACKGUYS which is a Youtube Channel where 5 Black Gay men create videos on various topics and also do interesting challenges. This Sunday they will be celebrating a one year anniversary so please check that out. We do enjoy ShawnQT dont we? FIVEBLACKGUYS

I'm So Excited!!!!

2009-04-30T18:37:00.000-11:00

MAXWELL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whats It About?

2009-04-22T17:16:00.003-11:00

I was in church this past Sunday and during the service the pastor called for couples to come up to the alter if they wanted prayer. So as I stood up and hummed and rocked and spectated, I noticed one couple in which the smaller of the two held on to his boyfriend's waist in an emotional embrace as the boyfriend's head was being held by the minister while they stood there in prayer. I was taken aback in such wow that I still can't put my feelings into many words. It was a sight that birthed watery eyes for me. Just so amazing to me to see a same sex couple being able to love and embrace and be in love with God under acceptance and inclusion.

Anyhow, I tell that story to say I want that. I want that and so do many of y'all even if you wont admit it. I want a partner that I can be at church with living and loving and praying and being imperfect and flawed and growing into each other...you get the point. See, many of us have been through so much in this "game" of dating that we have become bitter, cold, jaded, aloof, and hurt filled. We have grown such a hard shell that anyone who tries to come into our space can barely get a finger near us before it's been chopped off. We have turned all the hurt into criticism and judgement and imaginary "red flags" that we can't see anything that's really in front of us except for the perception that we've created in our heart damaged mind. We use everything as a cop out of the dating situation so we won't have to deal with any of the twists, turns, and flips that comes with trying to be in a relationship. We will use each other for sex and other gratifications and pretend that we don't want anything more just so we don't go through any of the same aches that we've been through most likely more than a couple times. Notice I say we because I don't exclude myself. ( I know some people are angry at me right now. Go on, cuss me out and let me have it. I won't even get mad, I promise.) The rest of us have now prepared ourselves to possibly be alone for the rest of our lives. We will create comfort and a love for ourselves that no one can penetrate. We will create our lifestyle in this independent way just so we are prepared to be alone forever. This is a great thing, loving ourselves, because we should. However, it is a natural feeling to want a partner that could be yours forever. It is natural to want a family in whatever form that may be.
So...well I don't have any answer or resolution to any of this. Hell, like I said, I'm single and guilty like some of y'all are. I may have just wrote this just so I can ramble in my own faulty sigh pool. Hmmmm...but I will say that I am willing to try and not give up on wanting something as amazing as I saw at church.

Sho Nuff

2009-04-05T15:54:00.003-11:00

I haven't done this in a long time.

One of my friends once wrote about how he uses the name of the person he's dating as his passwords for work or such. I also do this and it seems as though everytime the time comes to change my passwords, the names have changed. Good for password changing ideas, but hmmm...Aint that somethin? Do any of you do this also?

Speaking of...me and BD are no longer seeing each other. Yeah I know right...ehhh what are you gonna do ( shrugging shoulders) sometimes things don't work out as much as you would want them to. * And if you want to know how I REALLY feel about it, get at me after the post* LoL I'm playin...maybe.

Is it just me, or has Lil Kim somehow transformed into Latoya Jackson? Can we get our Lil Kim back from the Hardcore album? I just see a european billionaire in her future and I don't know how I feel about that.

I am really enjoying that new reality series Taking The Stage on MTV.

What the hell is "hunchin" ? Is that just a southern way of saying " humping" or is it completely different?

Y'all think if I write to T.I. while he's in jail, that he'll write me back?

What you gon do with Kanye? Can't say he's not somewhat original....
What are your plans for Memorial Day? Sizzle in Miami? The brothers in Cancun? A private getaway with a handful of friends in The Grenadines? We got about two months to transform into our new hot bodies. Stay away from damn Chipotle!!
This panhandler the other day asked me for $20. WTF is going on?!?!?
Is it ok to be a gay man that enjoys chivalry without being treated like a lady? You know what I mean?
Apparently America has one of the highest rates of teenage pregnancies in the world. Those billions of dollars the Bush Administration spent on abstinence teachings were really useful huh?
I was listening to Erykah Badu's live cd the other day and the line from Certainly, " Nobody gave you permission to rearrange me." really jumped out at me. Mmmmmmm.

If I Write

2009-03-03T19:16:00.002-11:00

I need to write
pros
cons and cliches
fantasies
big words that mean nothing
but something in its own context
I want to write
pain
and songs that cry
to wash out your soul
I've got to write
permanently
grafitti on his brain
something he'll remember
something that says, " Stay."
I can write
lustfully
lyrics curled at the end amorous
dripping with sweat
catching breath in afterglow
I will write
dreams
ambitiously racing
with an endurance winged
floating to horizon
Let me write
luxurious
untamed glamour
flawed and elegant innuendo
witful and profound
at my will

It all Started When...

2009-02-18T19:05:00.003-11:00

BD asked me what I was doing for V-Day. I had no plans and actually hadn't really thought about it. I had never had any significant Valentine's Days and so it had never really been that serious in recent years. Just another day indeed. So I told him I had no plans and while doing so my magenta began to build up and so I asked the question back. To which he replied " I don't do VDay, I never have." Ohhhh ok. So as I threw that over my shoulder, a friend popped up and asked " Are you doing anything for BD for Valentine's ??? If not, you all can come up with us to the cabin. It only costs ______" And here began my mind spinning. I told friend that BD doesn't " do" Valentine's and if he did I'm not sure he would be interested...considering... I would be asked about VDay 2-3 more times that same day and I didn't understand it. I was fine. Honestly, I was ok with it. I have my mother and friends who love me and whom I love...who cares. Fast forward to me reading restaurant reviews in Uptown Magazine and I'm asking KS to join me for dinner at SpiceMarket on Saturday, February 14, 2009 for a 10:15pm reservation. Friday comes and I haven't spoken to BD much...maybe briefly...and I go over to KS' condo for a drink. I like KS, he is cool...we watched Get Smart and we go to bed. All night I dream about BD...Me and BD living together...Me and BD with friends together...Me and BD with family together...Me and BD all night TOGETHER. And as I woke up next to KS, I had no idea what to think or feel...it was only a dream but why? Fast forward to me at Godiva buying chocolates...having lunch with friends...getting dressed...having dinner with KS ( SpiceMarket is inside of The W in Midtown...very nice place...chic..you should go)...and getting picked up by GI to go out to which I finally let out my dream and issue that had never left my mind the whole day. Me and GI went over my dealing with BD and GI finally said well if he doesn't " do" VDay where was he yesterday and where will he be tomorrow???? Hmph! It was a good point and we both went on and had a good time that night......Sunday comes and I take care of errands and spend time with friends and I'm thinking about BD again and what GI said and like always the phone rings and its him: BD. He begins with a story about his nerves being bad and he needs to calm down and could he come over and would I calm him down. As I'm saying sure...I am pushing the panick button on YIM with GI saying please pray IMMEDIATELY as I have no idea what to do or expect. BD gets here eventually and tells me the story of why his nerves are shot and I realize I cannot look at him without wanting to jump in his mouth. So we talk and I massaged him and we talk and he massged me and we talk somemore and we laugh and he falls asleep. As I watch him sleeping and settle into my own sleep I am thinking dammmmmnnnn. We hadn't had that much intimacy in a long while and it was something I'd been yearning for all weekend and actually for some weeks. I needed that.
Y'all know the feeling you get when you see a man you want asleep in your bed. Ain't nuthin like it. And so, that was my Valentines weekend.

The UFO Man

2009-02-08T20:00:00.002-11:00

Arrived unexpectantly
always a spectacle
Flashed lights
Maybe behind a star
Blinding
Hypnotizing gesture
Unearthly pillow talk
uncertain movement
He
familiar but unknown
Magnetism yielding cage
an intensified blur
Never needed
Wanted
He
quickly flew away
as quickly appeared

I'm not a Lesbian- Reposted

2009-01-20T18:03:00.001-11:00

I feel like I need to repost this..

Originally posted August 2006

.So I was in Piedmont Park on Sunday ( I tried to take a picture with a cell phone so you all can see the spectacle that is Piedmont on a Sunday, but it was too dark) and I ran into someone I had been on a date with. After greeting him and getting back with the friends I was with, my friend says to me " Are you a top now?"
" What? "
" Because everyone I have seen recently that you'd been out with has been a sissy. Is there something you need to tell me? lol "
" Shut up. Really?" ( As I turn around to see homeboy walking away in his flip flops)

So you know I've been pondering this ever since and this is what I've come to:

One of the reasons I don't like Bttm/Top classifications is because people associate them with gender roles. Maybe because unlike heterosexuals, our LGBT community didn't have any LGBT "models" for us to be influenced by. Between the media and in our families most of us saw men with women. So, ofcourse we apply what we've seen in our own relationships. There has to be a "man" and a "woman". The issue with this is that we're not hetero. We can't have a male and female because we're two men or two women. However, many of us will still look at two men together or ourselves with those same hetero ideals. You'll see two feminine guys together and say something like " Eww. Who's doing who? " or " Look at those two pocket books." The funny thing about this is, no one says anything when they see two masculine men together. (Maybe that's a conversation about masc vs. fem in our community. We'll have to have that one later.) Anyhow I say all that to say, I'm gay, that means I like men. From the hypermasculine guy to the dude with a little sugar in their tank, I like em. As long as they have the third leg ( and are attractive, have style, smart... da da dee da da), I don't care about anything else. I'm not gonna lie, there was a time when I wanted nothing but a "man" and if I dated anyone that showed maybe a tiny bit of fem, I was disgusted. I realized as I got older that it wasn't their femininity that bothered me, but what people thought when they saw us. I also realized somethings I liked sexually that changed what I was looking for in a relationship. Now I still have some boundaries and my preferences are still MY preferences, but I am NOT a lesbian. I like men. Makes sense? Ok..now look to your neighbor and say " Neighbor..." LoL Just joking, but really don't worry about who's bumping purses ( I hate that phrase, I don't why I just used it.) just worry about who's bumping yours.

Happy New Year

2009-01-01T17:35:00.002-11:00

...I checked the time on my phone as I walked quickly to the door. Since the door was cracked open , I walked into his apartment, then closed and locked it. He walked up to me smiling and holding a glass of something. I removed my coat and took the glass from out his hand to sip. Champagne. Of course. Then I put the glass down, glanced at the television, and the time again. He pulled me into an embrace and grabbed my lips with his. I tasted the sweetness of the champagne on his tongue and felt a buzz beginning. As our mouths tangled, I unbuttoned his jeans and reached inside to pull out his dick. He grabbed my face with both his hands, his kiss becoming ravenous, as I stroked his dick to hardness. Once his sex reached its full glory, I dropped to the floor bringing his jeans down with me. As he pulled up his shirt, I glanced at the television again, before licking the underside of his erection. I licked his dick from the base to the head until it was wet before I invited it into my mouth. I held on to his thighs as I began to suck hard. I didn't have time to waste, so I sped up my throat strokes. I inhaled and exhaled through my nose moving my jaw swiftly up and down his thickness listening to his moans and the television. I wrapped my mouth tightly around his brown inches taking him to the base and back again and again and again. He held on to my shoulders and began pumping into my mouth. I relaxed my jaw a little and received his dick and the suction sound it created. He increased his thrusts and I tightened up again. I heard him gurgle an "Ahh" and I released his dick as it spit its happy ending out into the room. I stood up and attacked his mouth with mine as I heard the celebration coming from the TV. I pulled back and looked at him smiling back at me. I began to laugh before saying , " Happy New Year."...

Twas the day before Christmas Eve.

2008-12-23T10:15:00.004-11:00

This a picture outside mommy's Windsor, CT home from last Sunday. Soo...pretty right? Until you have to go out in it...

I know 'yall have seen that McDonald's commercial with the R&B dude singing the song about the McChicken nuggets. What do y'all think about that?

The comedienne Judy Gould was on The View yesterday and she made an interesting statement about why she protested the decision of Prop. 8. She said she remembers seeing that one of the infamous Menendez brothers who was in jail was getting married...and how ridiculous that this man convicted of murder and in prison is able to easily get married and she can't.

Do you think that a presumed heterosexual man who enjoys anal sex with women somehow has tendency to have anal sex with men or wouldn't mind? I don't...

So I've been seeing this guy and while we're not exclusive, I can't help but to be possessive/jealous over him. ( I guess it's the scorpio in me...so people say.) He told me he was going to DC for Christmas and I suddenly got very emotional...I don't know whats going on with me.

So since that Walsh child's murder has been "solved", Does that mean that America's Most Wanted is going off the air? Does that show still come on?

I was going to go to my Father's house for Christmas but since his wife has decided to create some false sense of a happy family situation by arranging a secret santa ( in which she herself wrote all the names out and then herself picked the names for each individual) formed with people that don't really know each other and possibly have never met. Also, considering last Christmas over there wasn't exactly a Christmas that I'm used to...I've decided not to go. My father said, " Ok. I'll get up with you maybe Saturday for lunch then." mmmmm yeah.

Have a Happy Holiday! Call me!

December 16, 2008

2008-12-16T04:20:00.002-11:00

If you're participating in shopping/gift-giving for the Christmas holiday, you have about 8 or 9 days left to shop. If like me, you have to ship the gifts away, you have less. I'm basically done myself....

Anyways, I went to see Milk this past Sunday. What a fantastic film! Sean Penn was absolutely amazing! Definitely Oscar worthly I'd say. The whole cast was actually wonderful. Josh Brolin, Emile Hirsch, James Franco.... GOOD ! Considering whats going on with Prop. 8, the film couldn't have been released at a better time. The live footage they included was great, that Anita Bryant footage OMG ! If you have seen this movie, you should.

I had more to say, but I don't remember what it was. I had a very enjoyable weekend, went to breakfast, to the movies, drinks with my roommate, a holiday party. I think I was in a little bit of funk for a minute, but I'm back now.

Check out BD's blog : An Opinion Worth Listening To

Today's Track:

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

" The Gays"

2008-12-10T04:55:00.002-11:00

So as part of a nationwide protest today December 10 is a day in which the gay community is supposed to call out of work "gay". I was talking about this to my roommate last night and we were both trying to figure out how exactly we were to go about this. Do you just call up your workplace and say " I'm not coming in today. I'm gay." ? I'm just not sure about that. Anyhow, this protest is in relation to our civil rights and Prop 8. Here is a news clip I received from someone this morning featuring Keith Oberman with his thoughts. You may have already seen it, but if you haven't...

Throw That Hambone Out!!

2008-12-05T17:45:00.003-11:00

It's already December. Can you believe it? I feel like I was just at Barney's Co-Op looking for cute tshirts. Anyways, are you still digesting Thanksgiving dinner? Throw that food away! Them collard greens stink! And take that "This Christmas" dvd out the player, I know you've watched it enough ( Regina King did look great though, didn't she?).

So I went home to Connecticut for Thanksgiving ( I know finally right..). It was great to see the family and my good friends. I ate nonfranchise pizza and took family portraits. I had a good time crammed into the few days that I was there, but I will say, ain't nothin like being back in Atlanta. It would take something serious for me to live in Connecticut again.
Did you all watch the TVOne program Unsung? I caught the one based on Debarge. A great concept. BET is slacking terribly...but we've known that for some time huh? If it wasn't the Keyshia Cole reality show...
Do you think it's crazy if I dressed up the puppy in a lil turtleneck or something and brought him to take pictures with Santa? Hmph...I don't care what y'all say. I know who I am!
A couple of weeks ago I went with D and NewNew to the popular strip club Strokers. I had a very interesting time indeed. Yes, I got a lapdance...I actually got two and I loved it!! I believe I even learned a few things for my next show on some other unsuspecting patron at one of NewNew's soirees.
As received through my email earlier this week: Why do we dislike fats and fems? Answer if you wish...
Are you upset that some of the same things you woke up early to get on Black Friday are still on sale? Some of them for even less than before?
Why is it that sex can sometimes be a solution, but also be the problem?
Are you really in a recession? Some people I know have said that they've had more money during this so-called " recession" than before it. Maybe it's just a recession for those "others".
Aren't you happy it's the weekend? What are your plans?

Today's Track:

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

Sleepover

2008-11-24T18:44:00.003-11:00

We linked
connected spoon-like
fingers reaching
tiptoeing
unspoken but not unnoticed
his eyelids opened noisily
through our shadows
and my stomach giggled
through twilight
uncertainty of butterfly wings
fluttering fast
could he
would he
did he
smile smooth
controled uncertainty
contagious
not unnoticed

Todays Track:

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

Because Its been a second...

2008-11-10T18:31:00.003-11:00

So I celebrated my birthday for November 7 on November 8. I went for dinner and drinks with some friends ( 2Ds, London, Aston,Ken-Doll,Gee,Blaze, and Big Mike) I want to thank them all for celebrating my birthday with me eventhough I had been battling a headache and wasn't my completely fool self. Also, thanks to all those who wished me well on that day, I'm so grateful for good friends and wellwishers.
I also want to thank BD for rubbin my head while I was illing...lol...nah, but thanks to him for making me feel better before and after the birthday dinner.
So I'm sure everyone has acquired a "pre-released" copy of Beyonce's " I Am...Sasha Fierce" What are your thoughts? I put a star next to Halo, Diva, and VideoPhone..
Those of us in Atlanta, did you feel a stillness/ calm in the air last Wednesday? ( The day after Obama was elected the next President of the United States) Georgia is a red state and it seemed like certain people were a lil upset about the election results. I swear one of the supervisors at my job that usually smiles generically at me, would not for the life of her, look me in the eye not once on Wednesday...hmmmmm.
Since you brought up the election, couldn't you just wait to see The View and Elisabeth's reaction?
During the birthday dinner's conversation, everyone made me realize that I am long overdue for some sexual activity...hmph.
I finally saw Noah's Arc: Jumping The Broom. I think I'm gonna do a review on it. Did y'all know that was Nelson from The Cosby Show's Winni and Nelson ( Sandra's twins) playing lil Brandon? Wasn't he just a cute lil precious?
Can y'all buy me a ticket to Wednesday's Maxwell and Jazmine Sullivan concert?
The H&M here in Atlanta is a complete dissapointment. Why do I keep going there hoping to find something quick, cute, and cheap only to continue to leave the store almost disgusted? Atlanta can't be that bad in regards to style and fashion...Nevermind.
This is Gossip Girl. xoxo

Today's Track:

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

Yes...We Did!!!

2008-11-04T18:50:00.002-11:00

President Barack Obama

Homoversary

2008-10-30T15:58:00.003-11:00

I was on my way home from work the other day reflecting on my weekend, the soiree at Monticello, the singles party, them good cocktail meatballs, the margaritas, New New's Pink Lemonade Cake...y'all know how my mind goes, and I was thinking I wanted some new Js. So I was thinking since my Bday ( Nov.7...save the date.) was coming , maybe I can ask Daddy to buy me some. Then I thought how silly I am at almost 28 years old ( OMG 28 !!! I may need to do a post about that later) thinking about asking someone to buy me some Js of all things. So 28 started me thinking...how fast time goes... ten years ago I was 18... then I realized something. A little more than 10 years ago...about 12 years ago during this same week , I was attending my first ever gay function.

I was a 15 y/o junior in highschool with my Reebok Classics and my Gap plaid button down attending an Autumn Madness Ball with new acquaintances, soon to be new friends. I was terrified, nervous, excited, anxious, nauseous, and every other emotion. I saw many new faces and many familiar faces as everything was coming together for me. I saw fem queens and butch queens and all in between. I had no idea what was going on, I thought the police or Jesus himself was gonna break through the wall at any minute and tell us all to leave. I just thought that something had to be wrong with this. Anyhow, the ball ended somehow with a little bit of a fight ( of course ) and we continued on to a club. Don't ask me how they let my young ass in, but they did. This was even scarier to me. Just so many men dancing and kissing, I was just so overwhelmed. Then from the bar steps my older cousin with a heineken in his hand. I was freaked out !!!!! We shook hands and I kept it movin...I was home by midnight I think. ( Lawd I was grown huh)

Yeah so after that first night, it was over...soon came boyfriends, first kisses, silver jewelry, shaped eyebrows, nyc, spins and dips, Fathers of this house and that house, beepers, oral sex....and all within the next year!! LoL...my goodness...

Anyhow so... Happy Homoversary!!!

Today's Track:

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

Repost and Revisit

2008-10-21T18:10:00.004-11:00

Originally posted in February 2007

Because I recently started reading Kevin E. Taylor's Jaded again. With some edits....

The Real Color of My Eyes are Jade

I'm not sure when it started. It could have started with Kris, who always had time to suck my lips (amongst other things), but never time for relationship status because I was young and too pretty and he had boyfriends and I was his " little brother". It could have been Tony, who at the peak of my like/love/infatuation with him called to tell me that he didn't know how to be a boyfriend,but he would always call me. Maybe it was Luis, who stopped taking my calls after about six months of being his "baby" because he needed some "me" time. ( named Sebastian...he thought I didn't know) Or maybe it was Chris or James or Jaret or Greg or Jamel or...Myself.

Yeah, I am jaded not so much anymore like alot of us. The realization occured to me last weekend with BooBooRed. Spending time with him was nice, but there was always a caution sign popping up in my head. He didn't do these things actually, note that I say in my head
When he opened the door for me .
Caution: Is he trying to make me THE GIRL ?!?!?!?
When he got on his phone.
Caution: Is he texting some other dude while he's with me ?!?!?!?
While perusing books at OutWrite.
Caution: Is he flirting with this sissy that keeps coming around?!?!?!?
While sitting on his couch almost overlapping.
Caution: Who else has he been with on this couch???Was their someone else last week?!?!?

I had to tell myself to surrender to the moment and RELAX. It was sincerely a very nice day with him. Atleast we weren't arguing or getting on each other's nerves. Considering I needed this. Considering I had recently become aware that Homie B (a date/potential boyfriend/love of my life) had been over a friend's house with the intention of hooking up via A4A. ...add him to the list...

I had always convinced myself I was strong, I had moved passed all of that baggage. I guess not.
Now that I'm aware of this funky color jade, how do I change it?

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

It Takes Nerve....

2008-10-20T17:38:00.000-11:00

I don't care what y'all say... He is killin it!!!!!!!!!

True Blood

2008-10-16T11:25:00.002-11:00

Y'all know I love love LOVE vampire stories and movies right? You didn't? Well I do. Interview with a Vampire is one of my all time favorite movies. ( the other all time fave is Staying Alive with John Travolta) From the Blade trilogy to Lost Boys to Once Bitten with an unknown Jim Carrey to Underworld to Vamp with Grace Jones , of course Bram Stoker's Dracula, even Vampire in Brooklyn plus so much more...

I really don't know if its because of the yearning I had to be mysterious, desired, seductive, and magically inclined or what. From the time my Garfield costume became too small, and before mommy became saved, it was all about a set of fangs for the Halloween season. Since Interview With a Vampire there's been some homoeroticism attached to vampires and maybe because of my sexuality I found some relation to being somewhat of an outcast , living in the "dark" so to speak. There's most times something sexually charged add stylish as well. Please don't think I'm loony and want to run around chasing people trying to bite them...lol...its not that deep.

Anyhow, this is all because I am so excited about True Blood, HBO's new series. ( the show is about four episodes in, I'm a little late on the post...Y'all gonna be ok?) The show is created by fantastic Alan Ball who created Six Feet Under and wrote Academy Award for Best Picture, American Beauty. It stars Academy Award winning Anna Paquin as a telepathic waitress and hosts very entertaining characters including a masc/fem gay cook/drug dealer. It takes place in a small town in Louisiana in a world where vampires have " come out of the coffin" and mix in with humans seeking the same rights as everyone else. Sound familiar? The show is among my must watched which includes guilty pleasures Entourage, Gossip Girl , and Lipstick Jungle. Y'all should watch it. Sundays on HBO at 9pm.

Here's a scene from the first episode:

Something tells me...

2008-10-13T13:11:00.002-11:00

She includes another type of "ladies" as well. I feel like i've lost 5 pounds from just watchin this. Uh uh ohhhhhh uh uh ohhhhh....

Gettin it Out....

2008-10-09T18:09:00.002-11:00

...I never thought I would be here right now. It's amazing how your life can switch lanes in a matter of moments. Since I received his text the other day...well...the devil has been so busy. It couldn't have been anything but Satan that has drawn me to this man. Over and over again, its a familiar story. All the text said was " Whassup stranger ?" And then my heart clawed from my inside out. So there I went to visit his " new place". And there I was aching with lust. And there was I turning off my cell phone. And there were his lips grabbing mine. And there were my hands up his shirt. And there were our clothes cast around his bedroom. And there I was inside of him. And it was so good. It was so familiar. It was like our bodies ripped open and attached themselves from the core. Carnally rhythmic. Our climax seemed to evoke lightning. Our chemistry is blue flamed. It's got to be Satan. Now, I'm in this moment listening to my neglected phone. " Hey baby, its me, I'm just checkin in with you. You must be at the gym. Call me when you get this message."

Kanye

2008-10-07T17:07:00.001-11:00

Can still get it three times after ice cream on a Sunday. I don't care what y'all think. While everyone else is rapping , " It aint trickin if you got it..."

Here's the video for Love Lockdown:

So....

2008-10-07T15:53:00.003-11:00

I was on Marta reading Celebutantes ( again), Mobile messaging my younger cousin, people watching, and avoiding eye contact with random obvious trade. I was reminding myself to be grateful for a job with benefits and 401k options in this day and age where people are getting pink slips instead of raises. As I watched people in their business casual, I was overcome with a lil fear. I do not want to succumb to an 8-5 office lifestyle. I may have subconsciously not finished college for that very reason and now that I'm back in school, well...I don't know. I say all of this because I do feel its time for a change, but do I really want a change? And will the change come in the form of 8-5 cubicle routines, meetings, and *gasp* spreadsheets? Add in a Honda, a townhouse in Decatur and some chocolate leather and I'm my worst nightmare. Not to say that those things aren't nice, but they're not really me...Hmmmm....none of this makes any sense...I'm just rambling...

Today's Track:

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

It Ain't Trickin If You Got It....

2008-09-30T17:02:00.004-11:00

Apparently the line in every hit rap song out...What the hell does it mean anyway????

mmmmm MMMM!! Just.....mm.
Speaking of sexy, Farnsworth Bentley raised my eye a little during that Gs to Gents show.
Y'all remember years ago BET did a special featuring Faith Evans, Monica, Shanice, Andrea Martin, and I think somebody else? There was behind the scenes footage and all that and it led up to a concert. I wonder if I can find it on You Tube.
I saw The Women a coupla weeks ago. It was...nice. Jada Pinkett Smith looked fabulous but her character didn't really add much to the movie. It was true to the 1930s version in that it was a little campy. The scene with Bette M. pulling deep off that marijuana joint was priceless though. I reccommend it for either a Sunday matinee or a rental...(shrugging shoulders)
Have y'all watched the new reality show on Logo about the gay basketball team? Its very interesting. It's called Shirts and Skins.
Me and BreezeeBaby have been on three dates so far and guess what? No sexual activity. Aren't you proud of me? It's been really nice. I feel comfortable with him and easy. Refreshing even...Although I'm feeling an itch...
Why y'all sleeping on Lloyd " Long Hair Don't Care"?
I haven't watched the show, so maybe I shouldn't talk about it, but I am anyhow. I think it would be much better if Tristan Wilde's character on the new 90210 wasn't the adopted boy being saved from the wrong side of the tracks by rich white folks. Why couldn't he have been rightfully a child of some rich black parents and let one of the little white chicks be the adopted troubled teen? Hmph.
Doesn't Cindy McCain look like a "Stepford Wife" or maybe like an alien from that old mini-series from the 80s V (or whatever it was called) and we're all just waiting for her to pull her skin off like they did on the show?
How upset are you that you can't wear your fashionable Obama T-shirt to the polls in November? I know you were planning to. I certainly was...
How's your week been so far? Name one good thing you want to happen and one bad that has already happened. Me: One good thing I want to happen is to see BreezeeB before the weekend, ofcourse. One bad thing that has happened is that my somewhat pricey earphones stopped working and I had to buy some new ones..

Today's Track:

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

My Kinda Review: The Family That Preys

2008-09-17T05:12:00.003-11:00

What I Liked:

Sanaa Lathan's bob. It was sharp enough at moments to cut you like a knife. It really fit her icy character. I just loved it.
Robin Givens. It was nice to see her on the big screen. I've never seen a woman "act" with her nose before. That nose was going through some serious emotion.
The secretary. Wasn't she a hoot?
Rockmond Dunbar. Just because. I don't understand why there wasn't a moment that he didn't have his shirt off...

What I Didn't Like:

Tyler Perry and that damn wig. They couldn't comb it/ pick it out? Also, his attempts at hetero characters just makes everybody in the audience giggle uncomfortably.
Although I love her. Alfre Woodard's character just bothered me at times. I know alot of us have matriarchs in our family that are similar to her character, but on Alfre... When she breathed " Thank You Jesus" five minutes into the movie, I just thought, here we go...
The predictability. When that little curly haired boy ran into the diner, I just nodded mmhhmm. I know what thats all about already. When dude came home with the necklace and hugged his wife, then she made that face? mmhhmm.
The unrealistic attempts to throw some faith in. On what interstate was Alfre's character on that just so happen to have an actual baptism off to the side? And aren't there some procedures per the ceremony of the ritual? I know you can't just walk into a baptism, get dipped ( in your St. John ) and then leave.

Overall:

I won't say I disliked the movie. I did enjoy it for what it was. There was drama and moments of comedy, as well as " Ooooo uh uh" moments. I mean lets face it, Tyler knows his audience and he caters to just that. He has black film money on lock. There's something to be said to get a Kathy Bates and an Alfre Woodard in your movie.

Today's Track:

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

3 Moods...3 Songs...

2008-09-10T16:07:00.003-11:00

Rigamoro
and mumbo jumbo
massed eyes
and ears
holy spirit dances
mellowing urban quartet
eccentrically busy HipHop
music
and colored noises
red, brown, caramel, black
and frightened white
we all watched
but pretended not to
until the train shitted
plenty and in ones
worlding separated herds

Conveniently
Coincidental
A space reserved for me
in the curve of your arm
Your red showed more than mine
Even bolder
on those cufflinks during our first date
that midtown ambience
it continued the second, third, and every after
There's always been different
Three years different
My mask of seduction
repeatedly shattered
for you I am always raw
Three years so raw
It sang me to slumber
and mingled with your simple masculinity
The first, second, and third time
we slept together
just slept
secure in the fold of your elbow
shy- like
nervous- like
you always stripped me down to innocence

Just to hear it
makes me shudder
Big dick
Thick
Dick
Long Fat
Dick
And I feel woozy
Salivating dizzy
Purple flame hot
curiousity can't kill
only sustain the thirst
to clutch
smell
taste and feel
secretly worship
the heavy phallic fantasy
enough to intoxicate
enough to ooze
a jaw aching finale

Today's Tracks:

Candies and Condoms Labor Day Weekend 2008

2008-09-02T17:47:00.004-11:00

Thursday
Although for some of y'all it started before then, most of us went to first service on Thursday. I overcame my own hysteria of not getting in touch with my barber in time to get a haircut before work...so I had to make do. After witnessing some of that fantastic speech from Obama at the DNC, off we went to stand in line at Bulldogs. Me, Mother MaiLIng, and someone I'll call ReverendNewPiece. We were later joined by my roommate, my good friend London and others. We danced, we drank, we drank, we drank...we talked a lil bit of shit, I stopped holding in my stomache, and we drank. We capped the night off in the parking lot of course where I got held up by some chile fussing about a phone call or some kinda nonsense...left his ass right there still fussin too...mmhhmm.

Friday
I didn't participate Friday because I got absolutely no sleep after Bulldogs and having to wake up early for my barbershop appt. I came home from work and called it a night.

Saturday
Me and my good friend G ( not that Gee, the other G, yeah that one...yeah I know...we love him) decided to pretend that we didn't know about any such Labor Day Events and we headed up GA400 to the shopping outlets. We got a cute few things, saw two or three future husband prototypes and headed back to the city where we were reminded in the Lenox Square parking lot that the city was invaded by chaos. We headed to Fellini's then , ate and had one ole conversation about the goings on in Atlanta during this time year after year... Later on, I got out and did some parking lots with some other friends and some cheap ass vodkas. (Yeah I missed Danity Kane and Traxx) During which I noticed there seemed to be an extra couple thousand participants this year. Did y'all notice that? Did y'all also notice all the boys dressed in women's clothes? Hmmmm. the youth....

Sunday
We headed out to NewNew's Snellville estate for some good BBQ and good times. This is where Valentino decided to show up. He only hinted at showing up those other days but on Sunday he was taunted with shots of vodka. So he appeared first as a sexy cheerleader during the volleyball game, then later when he decided to give some young man passed out in a lounge an impromtu lap dance. For some reason he also felt the need to sit on a number of laps. Thats a new one. We both had a great time at NewNew's estate. We saw some fellow bloggers...Heyyy!!! After that we headed to Club Europe which is by far the best ever of planned venues every year and the only in my opinion worth the extra money they charge. There's always a performer ( this year's was Tonex the "gospel" or "alternative gospel" artist which I actually missed but am a lil ok with that since he confuses me a little) , a fashion show hosted by one of the ANTM's ( Naima...who scared the mess out of me down the runway...I thought that fan they had blowing on her was gonna knock her out) and this year there was an exotic dancer show ( hosted by Bobby Blake....hmmmm no comment.) The only thing about Europe is there is just so much going on that you can't possibly participate in it all. I remember walking passed the table featuring Jensen Atwood meaning to come back to it and never did... Durnit.. Sunday was a very great time....Eventhough I didn't get to see a new potential beau whom we'll call BreezeeBaby and I couldn't text him to find him since my phone decided to fuck up a lil over a week ago. I know right...A fool.

Monday
Rested my ass off and talked on the phone with BreezeeBaby all afternoon and evening.We're liking BreezeeBaby...Oh yes...

Overall it was very nice weekend. I didn't spend too much money. I didn't get overwelmed and over it. I didn't let Valentino show his ass too much. I guess you can say it was kinda lowkey.

Today's Track:

Target is The Devil

2008-08-24T11:36:00.003-11:00

I'll tell you why in a minute. Meanwhile:

This Sunday's journey into delusion is Lipstick Jungle- Season One. Goes great with a pint of Ben and Jerry's Banana Split.
When's the last time you've done something filled with passion?
I've recently finished reading Keeping The Faith, Faith Evans' memoir. It was really really really good, completely different from the trendy "tell all" style of memoir publicised by others.
With Laverne on I Want To Work For Diddy, and Isis on America's Next Top Model is the media and entertainment industry progressing or just setting the LGBT community up for mockery? ( Although , VH1 did produce The RuPaul Show years ago, remember? )
I went into Target today to purchase some new bath mats and one of those home accesories that lines up tealights in a row. I ended up spending over $109. I didn't find the tealight thing.
For us single people, do you think we've become too comfortable with being alone? To the point where our life has no space to include anyone else, since we've gotten to the point where we can provide every and anything that we need?
Remember when I said anyone that I was interested in atleast deserves a date? Who was I kidding?
I guess I should acknowledge that this upcoming weekend is Atlanta's Annual Black Pride- Labor Day Weekend also known as The Conference. I guess I will see you at some point during the weekend. I'll probably be drinking which means you should feel free to say hello.
Cassie's new video for Official Girl: ( I'll let you watch it and you tell me what you see. I miss Aaliyah.)

Cassie F/ Lil' Wayne "Official Girl'
Uploaded by ThomasCrownChronicles

Today's Track:

Another Tortured Dating Post

2008-08-12T15:24:00.003-11:00

Usually on Sundays , I lay in the bed and watch romantic comedies and episodes of Platinum Weddings OnDemand. This past Sunday, I couldnt find any good movie to watch and while I tried to watch other well received 3, 4, 5 star movies, I ended up stopping them. This should have been a good thing considering all the movies usually do is get me all worked up and emotional. Suffering myself with mushy , sappy throw up so I'll end up with a heart full of hope including " the one" and some kind of cliched happy ending complete with a candy buffet and those Cirque De Soleil style ribbon dancers that hang from the ceiling. Then maybe I won't end up bitter. Then I can sink into my delusion and not delete every number in my phone because maybe just one of them might be "him". ( Are you miserable yet? ) In the meantime, my body needs maintenance and I haven't been impressed by anyone offering. ( Whassup, my name is Valentino. Nice to meet you. ) I did meet this man in the Atlantic Station Parking Garage with some very huge arms who couldn't believe I wasn't 19 y/o . ( A gift and a curse.) So he hasn't called me, and I'm assuming that was the reason or he " wasn't that into me." I'm more upset I didn't get to frolick on those arms. I also had a very nice date a few weeks ago with a very nice man . A very nice familiar man. You know, the ones that belong to that extensive brotherhood which practically runs Atlanta. In every familiar case that I've come across someone that there's seems to be something there that I couldn't put my thumb on. It ends up being that. Except well, this guy was in the other brotherhood. Isn't it always either/ or? Hmmmm... Well I found myself comfortably fuschia while on the date with him and it took everything not to jump on his lap. I even thought as far as inviting him on a trip with me and a few friends a few months from now....considering... Oh. In case we talk about him again his name is : BourgieEyes. Say hi, he does read the blog.

Today's Track:

W...

2008-07-29T04:31:00.002-11:00

If you haven't seen it

This is the trailer for the movie "W" based on George W. Bush.

Directed by Oliver Stone who is fantastic

with Jeffrey Wright as Colin Powell

and Thandie Newton as Condoleeza(sp) Rice

What ya think?

W movie trailer
Uploaded by some_trailers

Blogspot Lookin Boy

2008-07-25T06:22:00.003-11:00

That is the silliest damn song.

Well, I was gonna do a review of "Hancock" ( hehe..cock), but there really isn't much I want to say about. I enjoyed it, I recommend it. It wasn't your typical superhero action flick. I kinda wished they'd cast someone else besides Charlize Theron, maybe a black actress, mmmm but then again would it have done the same numbers at the box office. Probably not.

Anyhow, so I've decided to participate completely in my own dating experience. I noticed that I haven't been completely engaged in any of the dates I'd been on in recent months. I'm usually wishing it was over so Valentino could handle his business and the date could go home or whatever, if not that then I'm sitting there trying to figure out dude's flaws or really just not feeling him because he's said something thats turned me off so I'm secretly texting friends. I have realized that if I ever want to find that Will to my Jada ( dont judge me) or the Will to my...umm Will, maybe I shouldn't check out of the date so soon. I've also decided that every guy is atleast worth a date *correction: I don't mean that literally. I mean that any guy I'm interested in and is nice enough to invite me out is worth a try.* and I shouldn't be so quick to turn those down. I've praised myself for giving people the benefit of the doubt in the past so I need to continue even if I can usually smell bullshit counties away. I'm tryin y'all!!!! Valentino been sittin at the door with his bags packed for a few weeks now...poor chile.

So, did y'all watch Black in America? What you think? What you think about Soledad O'Brien being the host? Clay Cane had some commentary. Check it out: We just love Clay don't we?

Today's Track:

Muthafucka I'm ill

2008-07-08T16:40:00.006-11:00

Ehhh whatever...

Since I never really talked about it, and BET insists on continuously re-airing the awards show:

Isn't Al Green one of the kids? Everybody's gonna pretend like he isn't? I'm not crazy...
Why couldn't they have Tevin Campbell come out and sing "Tomorrow" when they did that Quincy Jones hoohah?
Everytime I see Deborah Lee, I think of that banned episode of Boondocks I saw on Concreteloop.com. Did you see it? Here:

So I had to make Valentino go sit facing the corner. I'm sorry, I know you were waiting on some of his misadventures, but I had to do it. See, the reason I allowed him to visit for the summer was because I had become dissappointed and exhausted from all the dating prospects that just didn't sprout into anything. So, I was just gonna let him roam free and enjoy this candy buffet we call Atlanta, Georgia. However, the truth of the matter is that I don't want that. I want one man, not all men. That one that passes beyond physical attraction, and mental enjoyment. That one that has what my good friend calls the "it" factor. Valentino would be content with a cute face, a hot body , a big dick, and a nice car. I want more so Valentino can't come out to play for a minute. ( Although, if nothing special happens before Labor Day Weekend, Valentino has permission to come out...lol.) Hmmm...I haven't gotten that personal in a while huh?

Today's Track:

Atlanter Georgier

2008-07-04T03:56:00.003-11:00

This week/weekend marks my third year here in Atlanta. I know right? Doesn't seem like its been that long. It seems like just yesterday I'd landed at Hartsfield Jackson full of excitement and extreme fear. I really had no expectations for Atlanta, I just wanted to live. I wanted to be social, to pay rent, to date, to learn, and to experience life. I have enjoyed Atlanta pleasurably, even during the rocky times. My social life has been something , you all know that, you've read about most of it on here. I think its funny that I somewhat manage to stay low key but also familiar and slightly " in ". People often ask me how I like it here and I always reply " I love It". I do. Atlanta has been everything I've wanted it to be. I hear alot of negative notions about Atlanta which annoy me a little bit. This city is whatever you make it out to be. There are options and choices. I don't think it's fair for people to generalize the city based upon the experiences had because of the choices they made. Nevertheless, I didn't want to say much. I wish you all a safe , happy, and fun 4th of July weekend.

Today's Track: A little 10 track Backyard BBQ mix...Enjoy.

Valentino Is Visiting for The Summer

2008-06-23T16:58:00.003-11:00

Yeah so Beyonce can say it's "Sasha" tramping around the stage and not her and I can't have a Valentino to act up for the summer???? Hmph...don't judge me. ;-P

Speaking of, I had a nice little date last week. A cute salmon farfalle and Georgia Peach martini, then some ice cream from Marble Slab Creamery. Very nice and innocent until Valentino told the boy to take off his clothes...
Anybody speak to Sean " Puff Daddy, Puffy, P. Diddy, Diddy, Take that-Take that" Combs? If you do, ask him what happened to Donnie's album and maybe some second singles from Danity Kane and Day26. Maybe.
John Travolta in the movie version of The Musical Hairspray as Mrs. Turnblat is hilarious. You don't think so?
I am loving Lil Wayne's " A Milli" . The rest of the album...hmmmm...maybe it'll grow on me. Although, I do think he is at that point in his career that has turned into eccentricity.
Since everyone is anticipating Obama's arrival into The White House, does that mean black folk are gonna start to act a fool just because a black man is in the white house. Y'all know we like to show out...
I loved Emil Wilbekin's reign at Vibe Magazine. I'm excited to see what he does for Giant Magazine. The first cover he does: Kimora Lee Simmons..Love it.
Marc Jacobs in May's GQ on struggling with his sexuality and sleepaway camp: "...And then to stand there and not be chosen for a baseball-it's like, force me to do something and then don't choose me to do it. Okay, what am I supposed to enjoy about that process? How am I supposed to feel good about myself with all that going on?" Exactly...
Y'all remember Diddy did a music video with Busta Rhymes sitting on the corner of a building with all these feathers on blowing in the wind? What song/video was that?
Who y'all gonna be hugged up with for July 4th fireworks?
I recently finished the book Gentleman Jigger by Bruce Nugent. Loved it. Recommend it.

Today's Track:

Long Hair Don't Care

2008-06-16T18:29:00.001-11:00

Y'all Can't Take Lloyd's Hair...

cuz I know I can't...hmph.

Lloyd - Girls Around The World (feat. Lil Wayne)
Uploaded by DjFreakazoid

My Kinda Review: Sex And The City - The Movie

2008-06-12T18:30:00.003-11:00

Yeah so I changed my mind...

What I liked:

The clothes. Of course the clothes were damn fabulous! From the opening scene I just started salivating. Call it shallow but hell, Carrie even stated it from the jump. Women move to NYC to find LABELS and Love.
The Bond of Friendship. I am so happy that the movie showed these women's friendship the way it did. The moments during Carrie's catastrophy when they each came to her side. When the movie showed Samantha feeding Carrie, that was something.
New York City. Often referred to as the fifth woman, I loved how the city was filmed in each of the four seasons.
I loved how the movie kinda spoofed itself in a way. There were moments that were very over-the-top and I thought that was done purposely. It was known how much of a phenomenon the movie would be so of course it should play on itself. We all knew there had to be a wedding and more importantly a wedding dress, so there you were with four dresses right in the beginning...Carrie's cliche catch phrases, " Hello, I live here."....Samantha's sexual affairs.

What I Didn't Like:

That ugly Louis Vuitton bag Carrie bought for Jennifer Hudson's Louise. Just too much and ugly.
Smith Jerrod ( Jason Lewis). Didn't he look kinda weird? Like something was going on with his face. Some plastic surgery or something. Weird.
That full frontal shot. That was too much for me at ten in the morning. I understood the sex, but goodness.
The clothes they picked for the gays. Come on now.

Overall:

I really did enjoy the movie. As a fan of the series, I took for what it was and to me it was great. I could've been a bit more invested in the movie than some others. I did hear about folks going dressed up and sipping out of Martini glasses which maybe could taken away from really getting into the movie for those individuals. The movie was fun, it was emotional, it was as honest as it could've been for the sake of the story. It was sweet.

Today's Track:

1:25 AM

2008-06-01T18:25:00.002-11:00

The summer kinda snuck up on us didn't it?
Someone asked me was I gonna write about the Sex And The City Movie. I'm not. All I will say is the clothes had me in tears and I cannot get over that scene where Carrie got out the car and beat Mr. Big with those flowers. It tore me up all day. Y'al know I'm emotional.
I think there may be a return of RedNurse. sigh...
Me and some friends were out eating, drinking, and looking at boys. One boy catches our eyes. I then say , "Ewwww not those nail beds" . What y'all think about nail beds? I'm just sayin...
Now she need to be ashamed of herself.and watch somebody blame the student.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXGZPQtaDdw
I need a vacation.
Have a good Monday.

Something For Fun

2008-05-28T18:57:00.003-11:00

Our Sex and The City

The Bandage was a small fashionable lounge that hosted industry events, small parties, and live open mic situations. Tonight, it was host to Christopher Mack’s R&B Showcase featuring his latest chanteuse, Kira. The showcase was magical to say the least, the after event, not as fantastical. There we were, Christopher’s three best friends perched under the best lighting, appearing delightfully stylish, at best.
“Ya’ll know I could be home watching The First 48 right?” says Michael cynically, in charcoal Etro.
“Is that on tonight?” I say looking through our complimentary gift bag.
“It’s on every night.” He says.
“Aren’t you having a good time,” smiled Brandon in Calvin Klein teal.
“A blast…” Michael yawned.
“Aw Mike, stop. Here comes our VP of A&R for Penny Candy Records, order another drink or something.”, I scold with a smile. Christopher approached us with another man in tow. The man was peach colored, the type of skin that would suggest freckles. He had an almost bald, almost military haircut with some natural red growing from his chin. He was tall, lean and lanky. He had an edge. I was attracted to him. Somewhat.
“My brothers I want you to meet Jasper St.John.”, Chris hosted. As we all acknowledged the man with versions of What’s up, Chris managed to get close enough to me to whisper, This one has been asking about you all night Cameron my brother. We were too old to be whispering, but this lounge wasn’t for all boys, if you get me.
“I’m going to get a drink. Anyone want?" Michael hmphed.
“I’ll go with you,” grinned Brandon.
“I haven’t had a drink all night,” laughed Christopher running behind them.
“Well I guess it’s obvious,” Jasper blushed as he inched closer. He had on expensive dark denim and trendy Nikes. By the time my friends had come back from the bar I’d seen Jasper’s forearm tattoos, learned that he was from the East Coast, and a music video director. He'd learned that the Hermes scarf detail in the back pocket of my old Rogan jeans was something I took from a Lupe Fiasco article. As I pulled out my Blackberry to receive his phone number I noticed a text message saying You look so sexy tonight signed Mr. Mista. I looked around the room until I connected with some very familiar eyes…

We were seated on Brandon’s deck the next afternoon enjoying an omelet/mimosa brunch recounting the details of the night before.
“Kira’s showcase yielded to an outrageous praise from the label execs. My voicemail was nearly screaming when I checked this morning,” Chris detailed.
“That’s great man” Brandon offered.
“Yes, I’ve already celebrated with some delicious ass this morning,” Chris growled
“Of course. Did you have syrup with your pancakes?” Michael smirked.
“Mmmm,” Chris grinned, “So Cameron, you and Jasper both disappeared last night. How was it?”
“How was what?” I spoke.
“I will pour this pitcher of mimosa all over your fabulous Tahari pants…”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I smiled. I couldn’t tell them what had really happened. After exchanging information with Jasper I did sneak outside. However, it was with Mr.Mista. He soothed me in his rented luxury car and drove us to his rented luxury room where he took me on the chaise. My friends did know about Mr.Mista but I was reluctant to tell them since they believed I’d stopped seeing him. I’d stopped seeing him because he’d chosen to live his public life with the woman he was photographed with in the pages of the latest Essence. Damn those morals.

Once the other two left, me and Brandon walked the man-made lake in his neighborhood.
“Cam, if I tell you something, you won’t judge me right?”
“Nah, you’re my boy”
“I’ve been having random sex with men off the internet.”
“Brandon.”
“Yeah”
“I had sex with Mr.Mista last night.” We both stopped. We looked at each other and then released roars of laughter…

Today's Track:

Thirsty Thursday Thunder

2008-05-22T04:52:00.003-11:00

You all may have seen this guy before. This is the Indian gay prince that was on Oprah sometime ago. There's a very interesting story about him in Out magazine. Imagine, a gay prince. ( I'm sure he isn't the first.)
So I've read Terrance Dean's Hiding in Hip Hop. I thought the story of the book was nice, somewhat encouraging, a little inspirational maybe for those that struggle with their sexuality. The book was/is being publicized as a Video Vixen-ish tell all which I think is smart as far as selling books goes, but there is such a deeper story once you move beyond that. Actually, anyone of the celebrities that you can figure out are not shockers.
How did we really feel about Sex and The City's Miranda's small affair with Blair Underwood's Dr. Robert's character?
Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon? I don't know if I buy it. God bless though!
I really feel terrible for Star Jones. I really hope the media doesn't make this into another Terry McMillan - Jonathan Plummer situation.
Vibe Magazine's June issue includes a list of Summer Bangers of the past decade. That's whats playing in the background. Hmmm...I dunno about some of these.
I have yet to get into Leona Lewis. Am I the only one? What y'all know about that Estelle tho? Loving her!
Aren't we tired of having dating issues?
What you think Michelle Obama is going to where to the Inauguration Ball? Classic Armani? Oscar?
Everyone have a FanScreamingTastic Memorial Day Weekend!! Keep them boys out my man's face!! *lol*

Today's Tracks:

May 30, 2008

2008-05-16T05:05:00.004-11:00

I still cry when I watch the ending television episode on HBO OnDemand

You can call me crazy...Go on...( I cried during the fashion montages in The Devil Wears Prada too)

But when I watched this this morning....uhhhhh....uhhhhh..

I KNOW you're as excited as I am!

Sex And The City - Official Movie Trailer
Uploaded by YourMovieStuff

Today's Track:

12:41 am

2008-05-14T17:34:00.003-11:00

You know
I don't usually rhyme
It is again that time
I have become blocked
with only offerrings of becoming stuck
between a Rock and Republic boot cut
with a side bar Christian Audigier
Shallow shitted
Smelling like perception
In reality
I want to be rennaissanced
and New Negro
sexed in creation-ismsss
Abundantly artistic
Freed
Living in Niggerrati Castle
Feeding on phrase and aspiration
Narcissistic
rightfully so
but not vain

Todays Track:

The Escort 3

2008-05-04T17:54:00.004-11:00

...I awakened with a familiar dull ache in between my eyes and a dry mouth. I dipped my hand into a melting ice bucket and brought an ice cube into my mouth. I tried to move slightly so I wouldn't wake the man laying on my chest, or the man asleep against my shoulder. My memory came running at me as I looked around the hotel suite. I remembered a party. I remembered buckets of champagne. I remembered lines of coke. I remembered the rapper/mogul/ceo. I remembered putting on his chain in the private elevator and placing his hands on my ass. I remembered the NFL star. I remembered pouring champagne on his thighs and then on my dick. I remembered rubbing my dick across his lips while he bounced off the rapper's. The rapper who seemed to be waking up against my leg. As he began to stir, I finished the last of the ice cube and prepared myself for whatever was next. Considering what I remembered from the previous night, my duty was done and I hoped someone's Sidekick or BlackBerry or something would go off and maybe a meeting or something needed immediate attendance. I had an appointment with a realtor, or a trunk sale, or a massage I needed to get to. Of course, nothing of the sort happened. Almost simultaneously, Nike's, Gatorade's, and Lincoln's latest endorser began to run his hands along my torso.
Only seconds passed before the football player was sliding himself down on my black sheathed erection. I held on to his calves as he rocked himself into comfort while his dick drooled onto my stomach. The small ice cube was now only a memory as Mr. Multiplatinum slid his thickness in and out of my mouth as if he was examing my throat with it. As my tongue wrapped around the head of his dick, I felt the quarterback quicken his self-fuck and I began moving my hips in a pump-fuck. I was now multitasking the two of them into orgasm or atleast into a well-paid for nut. I had one hand on the baller's muscular thigh while I began quick thrusting into his ass and the other hand on the music ceo's sepia member french kissing it like I was a teenager ready to lose my virginity. I held the dick at its base then and welcomed it back into my throat and swallowed. I relaxed my mouth and allowed my saliva to flood over his hardness meanwhile bucking my hips hard into the impaling ass in front of me. Relaxing my mouth some more I let the fat dick slide out some before I quickly engulfed it again. On repeat, I mouth stroked him until I heard that wet vacuum noise only a skilled dick sucker hears. As that noise quickened, his moans got louder. My head bobbed at him faster as spit leaked from my lips down the shaft onto my hand. The moans turned into wails and I released my hand from his dick and stuck my middle digit at the opening of his asshole. He hollered " Oh Shit!" before I felt his dick expand in my mouth. I released it in time for ropes of his ejaculate to coat my chest and neck. The quarterback had now started to bring himself to his orgasm as he fisted his own dick. The rapper moved around to the football player, rubbing his chest from behind and licking his ears. I grabbed both of his thighs and continued my hard thrusting holding him onto my dick as I hit his spots deeper. I moved my hands up into the insides of his thighs pumping rapidly listening to his "oh.oh.oh.oh.oh.ohs" become "shit.shit.shit.shit.shits" I then put both my hands on his waist to hold him down and inhaled. As I exhaled, I bucked as if I wanted to throw him off of me punching his man spot like my dick was a fist. Those old sounds now became" fuck.fuck.fuck.FUCK" as his dick puked onto my stomach.
Both men collasped on top of my semen covered torso and invited me into a sloppy three man kiss. The NFL star slid his hands in between my legs and began to stroke my still hard and still sheathed junior. I began to relax into my own oncoming nut with the rapper's tongue in my mouth up until we all heard some music coming from something. I soon recognized what was a ringtone for my own SideKick...

Today;s Track:

Spring Fever Friday

2008-04-25T05:15:00.003-11:00

...Because the sun is out and so are the boys...

Many weeks ago me and two very fantastic friends were in a very crowded IHOP. We began discussing one of their new beaus. It came up that they had been on 3 dates, 3 nice dates, and that they had only innocently kissed. This absolutely struck me!! Not only had I not even really actually been on any dates, but let alone any dates where I wasn't looking for my underwear the next morning. I have deemed myself a slut and I am now attempting change.
I started wearing an arm band about a week ago branded slut to see if this would help my rehabilitation, perhaps like The Scarlet Letter. It's didn't.
Answering the blogger Life's questions: 1. I love that Atlanta is a blossoming city full of any and everything to do at any time. I like the opportunities here, especially for the black community. I do not like how unevolved some of our own community acts at times or behaves. " fintin" as in " about to" is not a word. I also could do without this crazy pollen. 2. Well, Booboored no longer lives in Atlanta. He has moved on to better opportunities elsewhere. Things did not exactly blossom into a romantic fairy tale for us while he was here. However, he will always be a good friend of mine and I will always care for him deeply. I often joke to my friends, Carrie does get Mr. Big at the end, doesn't she?
So I guess 50 shots at an unarmed black man is justifiable? Ridiculous.
Has Janet Jackson ever had any endorsements? Pepsi? Coca-Cola? Covergirl? Revlon? Versace? Chevy?? Baby Phat??? I don't remember ever seeing her in any big advertisements.
I started back to school with an online program three weeks ago. Wish me luck. Don't ask me nothing about it though. lol.
So, what are your plans this weekend? Call me.

Today's Track:

Blogiversary Number THREE

2008-04-20T10:22:00.003-11:00

So, it's been three years since I started A New Chapter. I don't think I've committed to anything for this long. However, its obvious that something maybe therapuetic has come out of this...continues to come out of this. As always, I appreciate everyone that still comes to check me out from time to time. I really appreciate those of you who've said hello in public ( eventhough it does freak me out) and showed you're appreciation. Let's see if I'll make it to the fourth year huh...
Here's some of the best or most liked or the posts that I like....:

Goin to Chucch

Boyfriend or Girlfriend

Maybe It's Just Me

Snatch Up Your Valentino

The Apology

I'm Not A Lesbian

Hmmm...Since its been three years, If there was ever anything you wanted to know about any post I wrote or just me in general, Ask...I'll answer...

Today's Track:

Ain't He Cute ??

2008-04-13T20:27:00.003-11:00

Everybody; CoLuMbuS sHOrT

Finally Friday

2008-04-11T05:57:00.002-11:00

It's about 78 degrees in Atlanta , GA today..It's Friday...I like these videos right now...Y'all have a good weekend!!

Usher - Love In This Club Official Video
Uploaded by goodlookvideos

Jordin Sparks Feat Chris Brown - No Air
Uploaded by FresHipHop

Lil Wayne- Lollipop (ft. Static Major)
Uploaded by youngkingz12