New Chapters

Quicky

2009-11-15T19:40:00.002-11:00

I used to tease
I was agile
Feline
leaving a trail of climaxes
in hyper bliss
breath taking and ticklish
I call him Fever
He makes me sweat
Fucks me Red
in hip hop lyricism
strokes me like an island Mojito
He holds me on orgasmic endowment
pumps full of Nina Simone soul
and "Rocket Love" groove

drunk and erected

he melted all over me.

Genevieve

2009-11-08T19:04:00.002-11:00

So like many of you, I thoroughly enjoy the entertainment industry. I more enjoy the machine aspect of it and the devilish claims of what goes into creating superstars and what some of us will never know. We've all heard the behind the scenes stories about the mansion parties and such. Anyhow, I wrote this on the train one day. Enjoy:

She walked into the townhouse with a delightful inner smile. D. Gemstone’s single had just reached number one on Billboard’s Hip Hop and R&B charts and his video was among the top five on ITunes. Her new pet project was turning platinum at the blink of an extended eyelash. Genevieve Barrows was CEO of Isabella Records, one of the industries premiere record companies. The company, named after her paternal great grandmother, was passed to her about ten years ago. Her father, Errol Chadwick Barrows lost a terrible battle with cancer during the time and placed his burgeoning company in her manicured finger tips. Since, Genevieve had turned the company into a blossoming force of music business. Through her hands on approach, artists had produced record smashing hits. During her decade of reign, she’d become a media darling, socialite, and style icon. High fashion fell off of the woman as if she were a hanger while she floated through rooms with the grace of a gazelle.
Genevieve walked through to her master bathroom where she was greeted by her newest beau, actor-singer Sould McArliss in a deep bathtub piled with confectious bubbles. She stepped out of her Louboutins and removed her simple St. John sheath and climbed into the tub and his massaging arms. The two met over a year ago at an exclusive industry event. Genevieve was as aggressive as any man and often tossed men out her bed with the same nonchalance as nose blown tissue. This one however, had lasted longer than most. She recollected her day and delight with him while he listened and eased the day from her body. His rubbing hands put her in such a mood, she decided that he deserved a treat, and told him so.
“Go and prepare. I’ll be there in a second, “She told him and watched him hop up from the tub, his semi erection bobbing, as he scurried giddily into the bedroom. Gen then took time to rinse the bubbles off her body. She then stepped out of the tub and walked into her dressing salon. Reaching into one of her drawers, she retrieved a chrome colored strap on. People have often whispered that she was so cocksure at times, she must have a dick. They had no idea. Walking into the bedroom she noticed Sould on the bed, his legs spread receiving two of his own lubed fingers. Genevieve smiled and spoke, “No. Over here.” She sat on a chaise in the corner of the room. “Sit on it.”

Perhaps

2009-10-18T18:51:00.002-11:00

So it is 1:15am Monday morning before sunlight. I've lit a gingerbread candle and sucked the Coconut Bacardi taste from an ice cube. VH1 Soul is feeding my soul indeed. Secretly...I feel some kind of way. But...:

I've realized some time ago that I don't blog as much only because perhaps I've said just about all that I've needed to say in this chapter of life. The things I've learned and/or become aware of are what I've already written about. As I read and find other blogs, I see that some of them are now learning these same things. It's a cycle of growth...
So I'm very anxious to see the movie Precious based upon Sapphire's "Push". I can remember reading the book while in highschool and having such a wowed reaction to it. Maybe thats why I was so grown as a teenager.
When you continue to gain multiple dissapointment within your dating life, how do you deal? Bury your feelings? Indulge more in friends and family? Find your way through a bottle of Patron/Moscato/Nuvo/Hennessy/Bacardi/Remy Martin/Veuve ? Say fuck it all, and disconnect?
I find it interesting that with all that's been going on with Morehouse College and other education institutions in that area, that no one discusses that the neighborhoods in which these campuses are located are terrible and maybe this has something to do with the crime there.
Speaking about Morehouse, this new "dress code". Boooo.
I attended and participated in AIDSWalk Atlanta this weekend. I'm very glad I did. Such a rewarding experience.
I went on a date some weeks ago. During the date, I learned that this young man was a Kappa ( rollseyes). So we talked about how or possibly why it has been that the majority of the men I've dated in my four years living here have been Kappas. Dude said, " Kappas like boys like you." What are boys like me? I haven't had a chance to ask him.
Why is everyone a singer/actor/model/photographer/dancer/songwriter/choreagrapher? No one wants to be a firefighter anymore?
What are you gonna be for Halloween?

Coming Out-Repost

2009-10-13T18:56:00.002-11:00

Sunday was National Coming Out Day so I decided to repost my own coming out story...sorry I'm a bit late. Enjoy...

Originally posted on June 15 2005

Reliving the Past

So today as I was going through some of my things deciding what to pack, ship, sell, and throw away, I came across some of my old journals. So of course I had to take a break, grab a glass of orange pineapple juice, and relive some of my life. It was really interesting to see the language I would speak and how I wrote. It was also interesting to read my growth as a person from crushing on girls, worrying about my looks to becoming a full out gay. Reading about the boys that put me through it while in highschool (including a certain young man from New Haven that was very much in the closet, but seemingly smitten by my beauty who mysteriously dissappeared one day to reappear with a new identity, new body, and a now as I see him these days, a newfound comfort in his sexuality), the fun I had in The Looking In Theater group, my first curlykit, my first NYC Club (Twilo), my first Latex Ball,my first eyebrow snatching, my first break up, my firsts.

One of the most significant entries was the day that I came out. Well, the day I was outed. The entry was a very small one as I probably couldn't bare to express all of what I was feeling. Ok so I'm gonna relive that day with you all now. Here we go.

It was a Sunday, September, my senior year of highschool 1997. I had just came in from church with my mother. I didn't usually go to church but this was my punishment for going out the night before. My mother had gone to the store to buy a pepsi and my aunt called. I answered the phone and my aunt said to me, "Hi". I replied the same. She then asked me about the message I left on my mother's answering machine the evening before which stated, " I'm leaving, Bye." ( You see, the day before me and moms had got into an argument and I wasn't supposed to leave the house, but I did anyhow and left that on the machine.) I said yeah that's what I left on the machine and my aunt said, " Ok. Well I'm coming over." In about ten minutes all of my aunts arrived. Since I like spending time with family I didn't think anything of it, but I could sense there was something else going on.

They asked me to sit down and Aunt W began asking me questions. She said, " We came to talk to you. I know that you are living a certain lifestyle which is gay. Right? ( I nodded, while Aunt P sat by me and began to rub my back) I know that you are scared to tell your mother, right? ( I nodded again) Well she needs to know and we are gonna tell her today. She's not gonna kick you out she's gonna love you. But, this lifestyle is not of God and we must pray about it. OK? " "Ok," I replied although I was terrified. Just then my mother came into the house and I was asked to go to my room. While in my room I got on 3way with friends to tell them what was about to go down and we were all trembling.

When I was called back into the living area, my mother was sitting at the table. I was trying to read her face , but it was blank. Aunt W then said we were going to pray now. We all gathered hands as the prayer was asked to rebuke Satan and rebuke the gay demons from the house and from my spirit. While all the Yes Lords and Please Jesus' swam across the room from every direction, I just stood there probably in shock. When everyone echoed their amens, they all ( including my godmother who had arrived for dinner) hugged me, my mother now with tears in her eyes, as Aunt W went about the house anointing it with oil and dabbing a drop on my forehead. Then as quick as it all happened, it all was done and my aunts were gone.

I had no idea what to feel. I was annoyed. I was relieved. I was sad. I was angry. I was confused. I didn't know what I was supposed to do then. Why had that happened? Why did they decide to do that on that day? Did my message on the answering machine trigger some concern that I would maybe decide to runaway from home? It was never talked about again since that day. The oil and the rebuking continued for about two weeks after that as a morning ritual with my mother, but never any real discussion. I tried to make light of the situation although a pimple grew in that oiled spot that had me very annoyed. I joked about it to my then boyfriend, telling him I may be straight soon, so he had better enjoy our time together. However, it wasn't a joking matter. I mean I can laugh at the ridiculousness of it all now, but at that time, it was very tragic.

So there you have it. It's interesting to be able to go back and relive the experiences that have made me the person who I am today. Like Faith Evans: "If I had to do it all again, I wouldn't take away the rain because I know it made me who I am. "

Bad Habits

2009-08-11T18:40:00.003-11:00

The Inspiration:

...Candles affected a hazy glow across the room. I stood at the foot of the bed in an intoxicated way. There was something about him that generated more than magnetism. I had a hunger. A lips licking hunger. A tongue wagging hunger. I could never explain it. He layed on the bed taut, agile, ripe wearing barely nothing as I prepared to join him. There was music playing, something late night R&B, a grownfolks crooner. There was intense stare in his eyes as he watched me remove my pants and my smirk widened. As I climbed on top of the bed, I could hear my phone vibrating inside my pocket. It was probably the boyfriend telling me he'd landed safely, that he'd call me once he checked in to his hotel. A routine that granted access to this moment. I reached this man's face with my lips, my hands gripping his torso. His taste had become familiar now. I'd licked his Adam's apple more than a fourth time eventhough I said I would stop after the second. His body responded to my hands in the fiery way I loved. This was hell and I couldn't get enough of it. He was a poison, I thought, more than a vice, more than a habit. I heard my phone buzzing again while I removed his Lycra hip cut confection. The boyfriend had gotten in his room safely and would be ordering room service, he would call before bed. I would be available to answer then. Now, however, I spread the thighs in front of me to feast on this addiction...

The Impact

2009-07-26T07:13:00.003-11:00

I was just a freshman in highschool, barely fourteen, when I was introduced to my first E Lynn Harris novel. I remember talking to my homegirl and one of her new friends, the two of them talking about some new book that one of them was reading " Invisible Life". The girl couldn't seem to put down the book apparently, this book that seemed to be about a gay man, a gay black man. My thought bubble exclaimed , " WHAT ?!?!?!" I was very intrigued and made a mental note to research this book further and somehow get my hands on it. I had recently become aware of my own sexuality and in effort to get some type of understanding, I had secretly been checking every book out of the library about the subject that I could possibly relate to fiction and nonfiction. I had found some things of interest ,but of course, any relation to me the Mary J Blige, SWV, Xscape, Notorious BIG, Method Man, Rap City, quietstorm R&B, and Dancehall Reggae influenced teenager was a little farfetched. So I searched the library but they didn't have it. Instead, they had " Just As I Am" to which I immediately grabbed and brought home to sink into. Although it was fiction, the book showed me what I had been hoping and praying had existed. Gay black men living, loving, and lusting beyond the stereotypes that I had been exposed to. I was excited beyond belief and somewhat awakened with a new love of self and what I was to become. I became an immediate supporter and have read and owned every novel written plus his memoirs. E Lynn's writing style has influenced my own writing by his colorful choice of descriptives like using Vanilla Wafers as someone's skintone. I personally believe that his writing has impacted a generation of our community as well as brought a movement and an awareness before any such propaganda and frenzy about a " DL phenomenon". E Lynn Harris was a great writer and inspiration to the community. May he Rest In Peace.

Mmhhmm Hi.

2009-07-19T15:31:00.004-11:00

So apparently, Karrine "Superhead" Steffans is back with the third installment of her Vixen series, this one called " The Vixen Manual : How to Find, Seduce and Keep the Man You Want". She is currently married to Darius McCrary whom we all know as Eddie Winslow in Family Matters. Anyhow, I listened to an interview she did with Ed Lover and Free on Power105 the other day as well as this interview she did on The Today Show. On both shows, she expressed the idea that in order to keep a good man, you must let him be a man. Hmmmm...pay attention to the message and not the messenger maybe...? ( How does that notion figure into a relationship with two men? Shut up. )
How are you all enjoying Maxwell's BLACKsummer's night? Such a breath of fresh air right? The instrumentation is so amazing and so sexyfunky. Ugh I almost cried the first time I listened to the cd...lol...
How is everyone enjoying their summer? Nice vacays? Hot summer flings? Flirty pool parties? I know...I saw you. How long have you had that tattoo?
So I went on a date the other day. It was an anniversary of sorts as well as just a second date. I'll explain that sometime later... We had ice cream. I want him to touch me. Here we go again...
Speaking of flirty, how much do we love that Black/Italian server at Joes on Juniper? Gorgeous features.
I went to see Harry Potter. Great movie if you're a Harry Potter fan. Malfoy with that platinum hair and black suit is so haute. Was I the only one that noticed a favorable presence of people of color in this installment? The waitress in the beginning, the blk boy that the camera seemed to love, Weasley's (?) sister's little boyfriend....ohhhh we love the british.
So Justin Timberlake received an Emmy nomination for the Single Ladies SNL sketch. ( shrugs shoulders)
So I just finished reading Our Kind of People by Lawrence Otis Graham. Very interesting book, most intriguing chapter is about African Americans who left their families to live lives as white people. The book has also helped me to have some type of insight into the airs and mentality of some of the people I've come across. If you remember, recently there was some buzz about "Our Kind of People" and their receiving of the Obamas vacationing in the popular Oak Bluffs of Marthas Vineyard. Click Click Click
Why aren't you tweeting yet? Tweet Tweet Tweet

If You're Interested

2009-07-15T11:52:00.002-11:00

N.O.R.E. talks about gay rappers

I Felt It

2009-07-07T17:44:00.002-11:00

It's happened to me a few times. One of the first times was when HE and I lost touch conveniently around a time when a new "friend" of his named Sebastian ( I always loved that name) began to come around. I was at work and I felt a sudden and strong tug at my insides. A tug so strong that it extracted a tear from my eye and a grunt from my lips. For some reason I KNEW. I knew exactly what it meant and I called it my "woman's" intuition. Another instance occured when a different HE had began some strange " there's something missing with us" chat. I was at work again ( a different job) listening to a new singer Amerie at the time, " All I Have " when I received the same tug. Again I knew. More recently, I was sitting at my computer one Sunday and got that feeling again. This time I hadn't been consistently dating anybody, but still my mind went to this HE. Maybe something was wrong. Although we hadn't spoken in weeks, I still just knew HE was the reason for the tug. So I texted. And HE replied. He said he was ok. Hmmmm I thought. Then why the tug this time? I pondered and I slept on it. I even came across something that could be the answer. As it crossed my mind today, I thought about all of these situations and I realized this wasn't the intuition tug. That had come much earlier. What this might really be is a tug signaling the confirmation that the connection I'd had with the HE's were now released. The moment that THE HEART ( not your pride) is saying that it's REALLY over. Maybe...

The King Of Pop

2009-06-25T20:11:00.002-11:00

Celebrate and Get Into The Great Entertainer

Micheal Jackson - Beat It
Uploaded by sandeep82. - Explore more music videos.

Micheal Jackson - Bad
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Micheal Jackson - Thriller
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Scream
Uploaded by picotter. - Music videos, artist interviews, concerts and more.

Micheal Jackson - Remember the Time
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Micheal Jackson - Smooth Criminal
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1st and Love

2009-06-10T17:51:00.003-11:00

I love that song. Really.

When someone is around the age of 25 and begins to reevaluate and second guess their life, it is often noted as " the quarter life crisis" right? Then somewhere in your 50s or 60s when this happens again, it is called " the midlife crisis" right? Well what if this happens when you turn 20 or 23 or 28 or 33 or 44? Is it then that particular year-crisis? Or is the reevaluation and challenge of your life just apart of a person's evolution?

I watched " He's Just Not That Into You" the other day and I have a couple of thoughts. First, men and women will never understand each other, so they should just accept that. Second, those of us who are men that seek other men, should know better. Shouldn't we?

Speaking of " He's Just.....", I think that my appreciation for romantic comedies is what keeps me in the hopes for a happy ending. Escaping into that delusion keeps my mind brewing at the thought that I too can one day have a June wedding at The Plaza with a candy buffet.

How long do you have to be dating someone before you invite them to a gathering with friends? Why do you invite them?

My cuddle buddy KS is going away to law school. I'm honestly gonna miss him.

Do you find yourself always having to sit facing the door? Is that a hood , being able to see something coming thing or are you just nosey?

Twitter has become an interesting way to find out that some celebrities are actually annoying while others are genuinely fantastic people. ( www.twitter.com/GaryTylone)

It has been over a year since I've done anything sexual. I just felt the need to say that. ( shrugs shoulders)

The photo above is Melanie Fiona. She is...uh...Dope. Click Click Click for the video to her song " Give It to Me Right"

Somebody

2009-05-26T18:27:00.002-11:00

Explain to me what's REALLY going on with this. Did he really "challenge" Omarion, Bow Wow, Chris Brown and others to do the same thing? Hmmmm...I'm waiting on the response videos...lol..

Ummm Yeahh..

2009-05-24T10:54:00.002-11:00

I listen before I speak out
those things protective and maybe rebellious
but those lyrics are choked through loneliness
the panic button for my honest feelings halted
a default smile is required
maybe the joke's on me
I am the commonality
maybe I'm the devil
and the devil wears caution
How the yellow gets brighter with age
makes it easier to decline
without those strangled lyrics
my default smile

Fancy

2009-05-12T17:43:00.003-11:00

I really like that song. Actually I really like the end when the track switches and the beat drops on it. Fancy, by The Dream...

I've been completely consumed by Facebook and Twitter which is the reason why I've been neglectful of ole blog here...my bad..

Oh yeah and that Twitter is: Http://www.twitter.com/GaryTylone.

Sometime last month marked my fourth year of writing this blog. I dont write as much as I used to or even about what I used to, but I do thank everyone who still drops by. I'd like to think that I kept true to what I wanted with this blog which was just an outlet and a platform for my thoughts. It has been that, and in honor of these four years, take a peek at an interview I did some four years ago with Trent Jackson. The Spaceship Has Landed

I was in Saks the other day and came across a cologne from the brand Bond No. 9. The scent reminded me of something BD wears. ( Cue Jill Scott: "wondering if you wear the same cologne...")I can admit that I actually miss him sometimes. The good stuff of course.

Our good blogger friend of Dreams in a Fitted ShawnQT has been apart of the group FIVEBLACKGUYS which is a Youtube Channel where 5 Black Gay men create videos on various topics and also do interesting challenges. This Sunday they will be celebrating a one year anniversary so please check that out. We do enjoy ShawnQT dont we? FIVEBLACKGUYS

I'm So Excited!!!!

2009-04-30T18:37:00.000-11:00

MAXWELL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whats It About?

2009-04-22T17:16:00.003-11:00

I was in church this past Sunday and during the service the pastor called for couples to come up to the alter if they wanted prayer. So as I stood up and hummed and rocked and spectated, I noticed one couple in which the smaller of the two held on to his boyfriend's waist in an emotional embrace as the boyfriend's head was being held by the minister while they stood there in prayer. I was taken aback in such wow that I still can't put my feelings into many words. It was a sight that birthed watery eyes for me. Just so amazing to me to see a same sex couple being able to love and embrace and be in love with God under acceptance and inclusion.

Anyhow, I tell that story to say I want that. I want that and so do many of y'all even if you wont admit it. I want a partner that I can be at church with living and loving and praying and being imperfect and flawed and growing into each other...you get the point. See, many of us have been through so much in this "game" of dating that we have become bitter, cold, jaded, aloof, and hurt filled. We have grown such a hard shell that anyone who tries to come into our space can barely get a finger near us before it's been chopped off. We have turned all the hurt into criticism and judgement and imaginary "red flags" that we can't see anything that's really in front of us except for the perception that we've created in our heart damaged mind. We use everything as a cop out of the dating situation so we won't have to deal with any of the twists, turns, and flips that comes with trying to be in a relationship. We will use each other for sex and other gratifications and pretend that we don't want anything more just so we don't go through any of the same aches that we've been through most likely more than a couple times. Notice I say we because I don't exclude myself. ( I know some people are angry at me right now. Go on, cuss me out and let me have it. I won't even get mad, I promise.) The rest of us have now prepared ourselves to possibly be alone for the rest of our lives. We will create comfort and a love for ourselves that no one can penetrate. We will create our lifestyle in this independent way just so we are prepared to be alone forever. This is a great thing, loving ourselves, because we should. However, it is a natural feeling to want a partner that could be yours forever. It is natural to want a family in whatever form that may be.
So...well I don't have any answer or resolution to any of this. Hell, like I said, I'm single and guilty like some of y'all are. I may have just wrote this just so I can ramble in my own faulty sigh pool. Hmmmm...but I will say that I am willing to try and not give up on wanting something as amazing as I saw at church.

Sho Nuff

2009-04-05T15:54:00.003-11:00

I haven't done this in a long time.

One of my friends once wrote about how he uses the name of the person he's dating as his passwords for work or such. I also do this and it seems as though everytime the time comes to change my passwords, the names have changed. Good for password changing ideas, but hmmm...Aint that somethin? Do any of you do this also?

Speaking of...me and BD are no longer seeing each other. Yeah I know right...ehhh what are you gonna do ( shrugging shoulders) sometimes things don't work out as much as you would want them to. * And if you want to know how I REALLY feel about it, get at me after the post* LoL I'm playin...maybe.

Is it just me, or has Lil Kim somehow transformed into Latoya Jackson? Can we get our Lil Kim back from the Hardcore album? I just see a european billionaire in her future and I don't know how I feel about that.

I am really enjoying that new reality series Taking The Stage on MTV.

What the hell is "hunchin" ? Is that just a southern way of saying " humping" or is it completely different?

Y'all think if I write to T.I. while he's in jail, that he'll write me back?

What you gon do with Kanye? Can't say he's not somewhat original....
What are your plans for Memorial Day? Sizzle in Miami? The brothers in Cancun? A private getaway with a handful of friends in The Grenadines? We got about two months to transform into our new hot bodies. Stay away from damn Chipotle!!
This panhandler the other day asked me for $20. WTF is going on?!?!?
Is it ok to be a gay man that enjoys chivalry without being treated like a lady? You know what I mean?
Apparently America has one of the highest rates of teenage pregnancies in the world. Those billions of dollars the Bush Administration spent on abstinence teachings were really useful huh?
I was listening to Erykah Badu's live cd the other day and the line from Certainly, " Nobody gave you permission to rearrange me." really jumped out at me. Mmmmmmm.

If I Write

2009-03-03T19:16:00.002-11:00

I need to write
pros
cons and cliches
fantasies
big words that mean nothing
but something in its own context
I want to write
pain
and songs that cry
to wash out your soul
I've got to write
permanently
grafitti on his brain
something he'll remember
something that says, " Stay."
I can write
lustfully
lyrics curled at the end amorous
dripping with sweat
catching breath in afterglow
I will write
dreams
ambitiously racing
with an endurance winged
floating to horizon
Let me write
luxurious
untamed glamour
flawed and elegant innuendo
witful and profound
at my will

It all Started When...

2009-02-18T19:05:00.003-11:00

BD asked me what I was doing for V-Day. I had no plans and actually hadn't really thought about it. I had never had any significant Valentine's Days and so it had never really been that serious in recent years. Just another day indeed. So I told him I had no plans and while doing so my magenta began to build up and so I asked the question back. To which he replied " I don't do VDay, I never have." Ohhhh ok. So as I threw that over my shoulder, a friend popped up and asked " Are you doing anything for BD for Valentine's ??? If not, you all can come up with us to the cabin. It only costs ______" And here began my mind spinning. I told friend that BD doesn't " do" Valentine's and if he did I'm not sure he would be interested...considering... I would be asked about VDay 2-3 more times that same day and I didn't understand it. I was fine. Honestly, I was ok with it. I have my mother and friends who love me and whom I love...who cares. Fast forward to me reading restaurant reviews in Uptown Magazine and I'm asking KS to join me for dinner at SpiceMarket on Saturday, February 14, 2009 for a 10:15pm reservation. Friday comes and I haven't spoken to BD much...maybe briefly...and I go over to KS' condo for a drink. I like KS, he is cool...we watched Get Smart and we go to bed. All night I dream about BD...Me and BD living together...Me and BD with friends together...Me and BD with family together...Me and BD all night TOGETHER. And as I woke up next to KS, I had no idea what to think or feel...it was only a dream but why? Fast forward to me at Godiva buying chocolates...having lunch with friends...getting dressed...having dinner with KS ( SpiceMarket is inside of The W in Midtown...very nice place...chic..you should go)...and getting picked up by GI to go out to which I finally let out my dream and issue that had never left my mind the whole day. Me and GI went over my dealing with BD and GI finally said well if he doesn't " do" VDay where was he yesterday and where will he be tomorrow???? Hmph! It was a good point and we both went on and had a good time that night......Sunday comes and I take care of errands and spend time with friends and I'm thinking about BD again and what GI said and like always the phone rings and its him: BD. He begins with a story about his nerves being bad and he needs to calm down and could he come over and would I calm him down. As I'm saying sure...I am pushing the panick button on YIM with GI saying please pray IMMEDIATELY as I have no idea what to do or expect. BD gets here eventually and tells me the story of why his nerves are shot and I realize I cannot look at him without wanting to jump in his mouth. So we talk and I massaged him and we talk and he massged me and we talk somemore and we laugh and he falls asleep. As I watch him sleeping and settle into my own sleep I am thinking dammmmmnnnn. We hadn't had that much intimacy in a long while and it was something I'd been yearning for all weekend and actually for some weeks. I needed that.
Y'all know the feeling you get when you see a man you want asleep in your bed. Ain't nuthin like it. And so, that was my Valentines weekend.

The UFO Man

2009-02-08T20:00:00.002-11:00

Arrived unexpectantly
always a spectacle
Flashed lights
Maybe behind a star
Blinding
Hypnotizing gesture
Unearthly pillow talk
uncertain movement
He
familiar but unknown
Magnetism yielding cage
an intensified blur
Never needed
Wanted
He
quickly flew away
as quickly appeared

I'm not a Lesbian- Reposted

2009-01-20T18:03:00.001-11:00

I feel like I need to repost this..

Originally posted August 2006

.So I was in Piedmont Park on Sunday ( I tried to take a picture with a cell phone so you all can see the spectacle that is Piedmont on a Sunday, but it was too dark) and I ran into someone I had been on a date with. After greeting him and getting back with the friends I was with, my friend says to me " Are you a top now?"
" What? "
" Because everyone I have seen recently that you'd been out with has been a sissy. Is there something you need to tell me? lol "
" Shut up. Really?" ( As I turn around to see homeboy walking away in his flip flops)

So you know I've been pondering this ever since and this is what I've come to:

One of the reasons I don't like Bttm/Top classifications is because people associate them with gender roles. Maybe because unlike heterosexuals, our LGBT community didn't have any LGBT "models" for us to be influenced by. Between the media and in our families most of us saw men with women. So, ofcourse we apply what we've seen in our own relationships. There has to be a "man" and a "woman". The issue with this is that we're not hetero. We can't have a male and female because we're two men or two women. However, many of us will still look at two men together or ourselves with those same hetero ideals. You'll see two feminine guys together and say something like " Eww. Who's doing who? " or " Look at those two pocket books." The funny thing about this is, no one says anything when they see two masculine men together. (Maybe that's a conversation about masc vs. fem in our community. We'll have to have that one later.) Anyhow I say all that to say, I'm gay, that means I like men. From the hypermasculine guy to the dude with a little sugar in their tank, I like em. As long as they have the third leg ( and are attractive, have style, smart... da da dee da da), I don't care about anything else. I'm not gonna lie, there was a time when I wanted nothing but a "man" and if I dated anyone that showed maybe a tiny bit of fem, I was disgusted. I realized as I got older that it wasn't their femininity that bothered me, but what people thought when they saw us. I also realized somethings I liked sexually that changed what I was looking for in a relationship. Now I still have some boundaries and my preferences are still MY preferences, but I am NOT a lesbian. I like men. Makes sense? Ok..now look to your neighbor and say " Neighbor..." LoL Just joking, but really don't worry about who's bumping purses ( I hate that phrase, I don't why I just used it.) just worry about who's bumping yours.

Happy New Year

2009-01-01T17:35:00.002-11:00

...I checked the time on my phone as I walked quickly to the door. Since the door was cracked open , I walked into his apartment, then closed and locked it. He walked up to me smiling and holding a glass of something. I removed my coat and took the glass from out his hand to sip. Champagne. Of course. Then I put the glass down, glanced at the television, and the time again. He pulled me into an embrace and grabbed my lips with his. I tasted the sweetness of the champagne on his tongue and felt a buzz beginning. As our mouths tangled, I unbuttoned his jeans and reached inside to pull out his dick. He grabbed my face with both his hands, his kiss becoming ravenous, as I stroked his dick to hardness. Once his sex reached its full glory, I dropped to the floor bringing his jeans down with me. As he pulled up his shirt, I glanced at the television again, before licking the underside of his erection. I licked his dick from the base to the head until it was wet before I invited it into my mouth. I held on to his thighs as I began to suck hard. I didn't have time to waste, so I sped up my throat strokes. I inhaled and exhaled through my nose moving my jaw swiftly up and down his thickness listening to his moans and the television. I wrapped my mouth tightly around his brown inches taking him to the base and back again and again and again. He held on to my shoulders and began pumping into my mouth. I relaxed my jaw a little and received his dick and the suction sound it created. He increased his thrusts and I tightened up again. I heard him gurgle an "Ahh" and I released his dick as it spit its happy ending out into the room. I stood up and attacked his mouth with mine as I heard the celebration coming from the TV. I pulled back and looked at him smiling back at me. I began to laugh before saying , " Happy New Year."...

Twas the day before Christmas Eve.

2008-12-23T10:15:00.004-11:00

This a picture outside mommy's Windsor, CT home from last Sunday. Soo...pretty right? Until you have to go out in it...

I know 'yall have seen that McDonald's commercial with the R&B dude singing the song about the McChicken nuggets. What do y'all think about that?

The comedienne Judy Gould was on The View yesterday and she made an interesting statement about why she protested the decision of Prop. 8. She said she remembers seeing that one of the infamous Menendez brothers who was in jail was getting married...and how ridiculous that this man convicted of murder and in prison is able to easily get married and she can't.

Do you think that a presumed heterosexual man who enjoys anal sex with women somehow has tendency to have anal sex with men or wouldn't mind? I don't...

So I've been seeing this guy and while we're not exclusive, I can't help but to be possessive/jealous over him. ( I guess it's the scorpio in me...so people say.) He told me he was going to DC for Christmas and I suddenly got very emotional...I don't know whats going on with me.

So since that Walsh child's murder has been "solved", Does that mean that America's Most Wanted is going off the air? Does that show still come on?

I was going to go to my Father's house for Christmas but since his wife has decided to create some false sense of a happy family situation by arranging a secret santa ( in which she herself wrote all the names out and then herself picked the names for each individual) formed with people that don't really know each other and possibly have never met. Also, considering last Christmas over there wasn't exactly a Christmas that I'm used to...I've decided not to go. My father said, " Ok. I'll get up with you maybe Saturday for lunch then." mmmmm yeah.

Have a Happy Holiday! Call me!

December 16, 2008

2008-12-16T04:20:00.002-11:00

If you're participating in shopping/gift-giving for the Christmas holiday, you have about 8 or 9 days left to shop. If like me, you have to ship the gifts away, you have less. I'm basically done myself....

Anyways, I went to see Milk this past Sunday. What a fantastic film! Sean Penn was absolutely amazing! Definitely Oscar worthly I'd say. The whole cast was actually wonderful. Josh Brolin, Emile Hirsch, James Franco.... GOOD ! Considering whats going on with Prop. 8, the film couldn't have been released at a better time. The live footage they included was great, that Anita Bryant footage OMG ! If you have seen this movie, you should.

I had more to say, but I don't remember what it was. I had a very enjoyable weekend, went to breakfast, to the movies, drinks with my roommate, a holiday party. I think I was in a little bit of funk for a minute, but I'm back now.

Check out BD's blog : An Opinion Worth Listening To

Today's Track:

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" The Gays"

2008-12-10T04:55:00.002-11:00

So as part of a nationwide protest today December 10 is a day in which the gay community is supposed to call out of work "gay". I was talking about this to my roommate last night and we were both trying to figure out how exactly we were to go about this. Do you just call up your workplace and say " I'm not coming in today. I'm gay." ? I'm just not sure about that. Anyhow, this protest is in relation to our civil rights and Prop 8. Here is a news clip I received from someone this morning featuring Keith Oberman with his thoughts. You may have already seen it, but if you haven't...