I'm not a Lesbian- Reposted

I feel like I need to repost this..



Originally posted August 2006


.So I was in Piedmont Park on Sunday ( I tried to take a picture with a cell phone so you all can see the spectacle that is Piedmont on a Sunday, but it was too dark) and I ran into someone I had been on a date with. After greeting him and getting back with the friends I was with, my friend says to me " Are you a top now?"
" What? "
" Because everyone I have seen recently that you'd been out with has been a sissy. Is there something you need to tell me? lol "
" Shut up. Really?" ( As I turn around to see homeboy walking away in his flip flops)


So you know I've been pondering this ever since and this is what I've come to:


One of the reasons I don't like Bttm/Top classifications is because people associate them with gender roles. Maybe because unlike heterosexuals, our LGBT community didn't have any LGBT "models" for us to be influenced by. Between the media and in our families most of us saw men with women. So, ofcourse we apply what we've seen in our own relationships. There has to be a "man" and a "woman". The issue with this is that we're not hetero. We can't have a male and female because we're two men or two women. However, many of us will still look at two men together or ourselves with those same hetero ideals. You'll see two feminine guys together and say something like " Eww. Who's doing who? " or " Look at those two pocket books." The funny thing about this is, no one says anything when they see two masculine men together. (Maybe that's a conversation about masc vs. fem in our community. We'll have to have that one later.) Anyhow I say all that to say, I'm gay, that means I like men. From the hypermasculine guy to the dude with a little sugar in their tank, I like em. As long as they have the third leg ( and are attractive, have style, smart... da da dee da da), I don't care about anything else. I'm not gonna lie, there was a time when I wanted nothing but a "man" and if I dated anyone that showed maybe a tiny bit of fem, I was disgusted. I realized as I got older that it wasn't their femininity that bothered me, but what people thought when they saw us. I also realized somethings I liked sexually that changed what I was looking for in a relationship. Now I still have some boundaries and my preferences are still MY preferences, but I am NOT a lesbian. I like men. Makes sense? Ok..now look to your neighbor and say " Neighbor..." LoL Just joking, but really don't worry about who's bumping purses ( I hate that phrase, I don't why I just used it.) just worry about who's bumping yours.