Homoversary

I was on my way home from work the other day reflecting on my weekend, the soiree at Monticello, the singles party, them good cocktail meatballs, the margaritas, New New's Pink Lemonade Cake...y'all know how my mind goes, and I was thinking I wanted some new Js. So I was thinking since my Bday ( Nov.7...save the date.) was coming , maybe I can ask Daddy to buy me some. Then I thought how silly I am at almost 28 years old ( OMG 28 !!! I may need to do a post about that later) thinking about asking someone to buy me some Js of all things. So 28 started me thinking...how fast time goes... ten years ago I was 18... then I realized something. A little more than 10 years ago...about 12 years ago during this same week , I was attending my first ever gay function.

I was a 15 y/o junior in highschool with my Reebok Classics and my Gap plaid button down attending an Autumn Madness Ball with new acquaintances, soon to be new friends. I was terrified, nervous, excited, anxious, nauseous, and every other emotion. I saw many new faces and many familiar faces as everything was coming together for me. I saw fem queens and butch queens and all in between. I had no idea what was going on, I thought the police or Jesus himself was gonna break through the wall at any minute and tell us all to leave. I just thought that something had to be wrong with this. Anyhow, the ball ended somehow with a little bit of a fight ( of course ) and we continued on to a club. Don't ask me how they let my young ass in, but they did. This was even scarier to me. Just so many men dancing and kissing, I was just so overwhelmed. Then from the bar steps my older cousin with a heineken in his hand. I was freaked out !!!!! We shook hands and I kept it movin...I was home by midnight I think. ( Lawd I was grown huh)

Yeah so after that first night, it was over...soon came boyfriends, first kisses, silver jewelry, shaped eyebrows, nyc, spins and dips, Fathers of this house and that house, beepers, oral sex....and all within the next year!! LoL...my goodness...

Anyhow so... Happy Homoversary!!!

Today's Track:

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Repost and Revisit

Originally posted in February 2007

Because I recently started reading Kevin E. Taylor's Jaded again. With some edits....

The Real Color of My Eyes are Jade


I'm not sure when it started. It could have started with Kris, who always had time to suck my lips (amongst other things), but never time for relationship status because I was young and too pretty and he had boyfriends and I was his " little brother". It could have been Tony, who at the peak of my like/love/infatuation with him called to tell me that he didn't know how to be a boyfriend,but he would always call me. Maybe it was Luis, who stopped taking my calls after about six months of being his "baby" because he needed some "me" time. ( named Sebastian...he thought I didn't know) Or maybe it was Chris or James or Jaret or Greg or Jamel or...Myself.


Yeah, I am jaded not so much anymore like alot of us. The realization occured to me last weekend with BooBooRed. Spending time with him was nice, but there was always a caution sign popping up in my head. He didn't do these things actually, note that I say in my head
When he opened the door for me .
Caution: Is he trying to make me THE GIRL ?!?!?!?
When he got on his phone.
Caution: Is he texting some other dude while he's with me ?!?!?!?
While perusing books at OutWrite.
Caution: Is he flirting with this sissy that keeps coming around?!?!?!?
While sitting on his couch almost overlapping.
Caution: Who else has he been with on this couch???Was their someone else last week?!?!?

I had to tell myself to surrender to the moment and RELAX. It was sincerely a very nice day with him. Atleast we weren't arguing or getting on each other's nerves. Considering I needed this. Considering I had recently become aware that Homie B (a date/potential boyfriend/love of my life) had been over a friend's house with the intention of hooking up via A4A. ...add him to the list...

I had always convinced myself I was strong, I had moved passed all of that baggage. I guess not.
Now that I'm aware of this funky color jade, how do I change it?

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It Takes Nerve....

I don't care what y'all say... He is killin it!!!!!!!!!

True Blood

Y'all know I love love LOVE vampire stories and movies right? You didn't? Well I do. Interview with a Vampire is one of my all time favorite movies. ( the other all time fave is Staying Alive with John Travolta) From the Blade trilogy to Lost Boys to Once Bitten with an unknown Jim Carrey to Underworld to Vamp with Grace Jones , of course Bram Stoker's Dracula, even Vampire in Brooklyn plus so much more...

I really don't know if its because of the yearning I had to be mysterious, desired, seductive, and magically inclined or what. From the time my Garfield costume became too small, and before mommy became saved, it was all about a set of fangs for the Halloween season. Since Interview With a Vampire there's been some homoeroticism attached to vampires and maybe because of my sexuality I found some relation to being somewhat of an outcast , living in the "dark" so to speak. There's most times something sexually charged add stylish as well. Please don't think I'm loony and want to run around chasing people trying to bite them...lol...its not that deep.

Anyhow, this is all because I am so excited about True Blood, HBO's new series. ( the show is about four episodes in, I'm a little late on the post...Y'all gonna be ok?) The show is created by fantastic Alan Ball who created Six Feet Under and wrote Academy Award for Best Picture, American Beauty. It stars Academy Award winning Anna Paquin as a telepathic waitress and hosts very entertaining characters including a masc/fem gay cook/drug dealer. It takes place in a small town in Louisiana in a world where vampires have " come out of the coffin" and mix in with humans seeking the same rights as everyone else. Sound familiar? The show is among my must watched which includes guilty pleasures Entourage, Gossip Girl , and Lipstick Jungle. Y'all should watch it. Sundays on HBO at 9pm.

Here's a scene from the first episode:

Something tells me...

She includes another type of "ladies" as well. I feel like i've lost 5 pounds from just watchin this. Uh uh ohhhhhh uh uh ohhhhh....

Gettin it Out....

...I never thought I would be here right now. It's amazing how your life can switch lanes in a matter of moments. Since I received his text the other day...well...the devil has been so busy. It couldn't have been anything but Satan that has drawn me to this man. Over and over again, its a familiar story. All the text said was " Whassup stranger ?" And then my heart clawed from my inside out. So there I went to visit his " new place". And there I was aching with lust. And there was I turning off my cell phone. And there were his lips grabbing mine. And there were my hands up his shirt. And there were our clothes cast around his bedroom. And there I was inside of him. And it was so good. It was so familiar. It was like our bodies ripped open and attached themselves from the core. Carnally rhythmic. Our climax seemed to evoke lightning. Our chemistry is blue flamed. It's got to be Satan. Now, I'm in this moment listening to my neglected phone. " Hey baby, its me, I'm just checkin in with you. You must be at the gym. Call me when you get this message."

Kanye

Can still get it three times after ice cream on a Sunday. I don't care what y'all think. While everyone else is rapping , " It aint trickin if you got it..."

Here's the video for Love Lockdown:

So....

I was on Marta reading Celebutantes ( again), Mobile messaging my younger cousin, people watching, and avoiding eye contact with random obvious trade. I was reminding myself to be grateful for a job with benefits and 401k options in this day and age where people are getting pink slips instead of raises. As I watched people in their business casual, I was overcome with a lil fear. I do not want to succumb to an 8-5 office lifestyle. I may have subconsciously not finished college for that very reason and now that I'm back in school, well...I don't know. I say all of this because I do feel its time for a change, but do I really want a change? And will the change come in the form of 8-5 cubicle routines, meetings, and *gasp* spreadsheets? Add in a Honda, a townhouse in Decatur and some chocolate leather and I'm my worst nightmare. Not to say that those things aren't nice, but they're not really me...Hmmmm....none of this makes any sense...I'm just rambling...



Today's Track:

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